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UPenn President Lights Special ‘Please Don’t Pull That $100 Million Donation’ Menorah
https://babylonbee.com/news/upenn-president-to-light-special-please-dont-pull-that-100-million-donation-menorah/ ^ | 12/8/23

Posted on 12/08/2023 12:36:31 PM PST by cotton1706

PHILADELPHIA, PA — To quiet controversy surrounding statements made about Jewish students facing antisemitism on campus, UPenn President Liz Magill announced the start of a new school tradition where she will hold a ceremony to light the "Please Don't Pull That $100 Million Donation" Menorah.

"We totally love us some Jews," Macgill said in a statement announcing the ceremony. "We're not sure where everyone got the idea that we are comfortable with open antisemitism and threats of hostility toward Jewish members of our student body, or that there could ever be any context in which calling for the genocide of the Jewish people is acceptable, but we are absolutely sure that we do not want to lose the $100 million pledged by a prominent donor, who may or may not be a Jew. By lighting this giant menorah, we are hoping everything will now be cool. Thank you, and yay Jews!"

In the face of mounting backlash that resulted from Magill's evasive and offensive remarks made during congressional testimony, the university hastily commissioned the construction of the elaborate menorah to smooth things over with angry donors. One such donor, who asked to remain anonymous, was not convinced the school's new menorah lighting ceremony was sincere. "Yeah, not sure that's going to be enough," the donor said. "You can't just light some really big, fancy candles and expect everyone to forget that they think it's ok to call for the extermination of Jewish people."

At publishing time, donors and other members of the Jewish community remained skeptical after Magill announced an "Intifada Parade" to placate Leftist students.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 12/08/2023 12:36:31 PM PST by cotton1706
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To: cotton1706

Probably the only place Jews can count on genuine acceptance is overtly Christian colleges.


2 posted on 12/08/2023 12:41:56 PM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: cotton1706

Remember U Penn helped the Chinese buy off Biden. U Penn is a den of corruption. I would pull that $1000 million for lots of reasons. Antisemitism being just one of them. And maybe not even at the top of the list.


3 posted on 12/08/2023 12:42:31 PM PST by poinq (thics and customs and did not take an oath to the country. And did not follow the country's traditio)
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To: cotton1706

Nine light crow. Bon appetite.


4 posted on 12/08/2023 12:44:24 PM PST by blackdog ((Z28.310) My dog Sam eats purple flowers.)
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To: cotton1706

As far as her future is concerned it’s all in vain since she’s apparently been given the boot, the big Adios, sacked and sent on her way.


5 posted on 12/08/2023 12:57:21 PM PST by xp38
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To: cotton1706

Any guesses about what her compensation package will be valued at when she gets fired?

I say $20 million.


6 posted on 12/08/2023 1:02:19 PM PST by KingLudd
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To: cotton1706

lol


7 posted on 12/08/2023 1:06:25 PM PST by facedown (Armed in the Heartland)
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To: cotton1706

Penn, like most of the colleges are now run by a DEI Board of ethics. DEI is is based on Relativity and irrational hatred. The job of these women DEI hires is to run interference between the demands of the DEI boards and the donors.

It all depends on what the definition of “is” is ( and what color your skin is or your sexual identity)


8 posted on 12/08/2023 1:27:22 PM PST by Eva
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To: poinq
...Remember U Penn helped the Chinese buy off Biden..

The CCP was comfortable enough with Pantload Joe that they created a Virus to steal his election for him.

9 posted on 12/08/2023 1:27:57 PM PST by Nateman (If the Pedo Profit Mad Moe (pig pee upon him!) was not the Antichrist then he comes in second.)
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To: cotton1706

Y’all - it’s the Bee.


10 posted on 12/08/2023 1:51:57 PM PST by Palio di Siena (P01135809)
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To: cotton1706

I just LOVE the BEE!!


11 posted on 12/08/2023 1:54:41 PM PST by Trump Girl Kit Cat (Yosemite Sam raising hell)
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To: cotton1706

12 posted on 12/08/2023 2:04:53 PM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: cotton1706

The University of Bigotry


13 posted on 12/08/2023 4:17:07 PM PST by NWFree (Sigma male 🤪a)
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Comment #14 Removed by Moderator

To: cotton1706

These Universities still get loads of money from foreign entities.


15 posted on 12/08/2023 5:36:56 PM PST by FreedBird (as)
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