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China Offers Bounties for Dissidents Living Abroad [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 July 2023 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/25/2023 2:04:01 PM PDT by John Semmens

Seeing how effective and inexpensive the payments to the Biden family have been in redirecting US policies and actions toward China, the government is now offering bounties of up to a million dollars to individuals who help them capture or kill their country's dissidents living in other nations.

Qin Gang, Minister of Foreign Affairs of the People's Republic of China, explained that "so far, we have induced the Biden Administration to exclude Taiwan from its Indo-Pacific Economic Framework for Prosperity, end the Trump plan to track down Chinese spies who were stealing intellectual property, allow our spy balloons to peacefully transit the North American Continent, and refrain from interfering with our Fentanyl shipments across the United States' southern border. The trifling sums we paid Hunter Biden to secure these achievements encourage us to have confidence that we will also achieve a successful bounty operation."

Qin said "the key to the bounty plan is that it takes advantage of American law-enforcement's use of bounties to provide private persons an incentive to aid in the capture or slaying of wanted criminals. Putting a price on a wanted person's head has a long and storied history in the United States. I'm sure that the leaders of both of our nations would like to see fugitives answer for their crimes against the state."

"We already have security agents working discreetly to capture or neutralize our enemies residing outside of China's territory, but it is hoped that by offering bounties these forces can be cost-effectively supplemented," Qin added.

Thus far, the Biden Administration hasn't taken any action against Chinese agents known to be hunting for dissidents inside the United States. Whether the addition of using cash bounties to increase the effectiveness of these hunts will meet with any opposition remains to be seen.

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,506414.0.html


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: biden; corruption; satire; spying

1 posted on 07/25/2023 2:04:01 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Is there a list of dissidents or something? Asking for a friend...


2 posted on 07/25/2023 2:14:14 PM PDT by TheDon (Resist the usurpers! Remember the J6 political prisoners!)
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To: TheDon

Inquiries should be made at the nearest Chinese embassy or consulate office.


3 posted on 07/25/2023 3:54:31 PM PDT by John Semmens
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