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Ukraine Asks Merrick Garland To Leave As They Already Have Enough Corrupt Government Officials
Babylon Bee ^ | 03/06/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/06/2023 4:52:18 PM PST by DFG

KYIV — Attorney General Merrick Garland's surprise Ukraine trip was cut short over the weekend after government officials asked him to leave, citing an overabundance of corrupt government officials already in the country.

"Believe me, Mr. Garland, your corruption is legendary," said President Zelensky during their short meeting. "But Ukraine is already corrupt to the core. We're pros at corruption, so we have this pretty well covered. We will not be needing your services, thank you very much."

Sources say the Attorney General stammered in response, citing his lengthy rap sheet which included sending the FBI after parents who protest at school board meetings, sending militarized police units to pro-life protestors' homes, and investigating "radical Catholics."

"Yes, yes, we're aware. Very impressive. Very devious. But not needed here. You're welcome to go back home where you belong," said Zelensky. "Thanks for stopping by though, bud! You didn't have to!"

Reports say an outraged and humiliated Garland is now investigating any Zelensky associates in the U.S. to see if he can find an excuse to send a SWAT team to their door.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: corrupt; garland; ukraine; zelensky

1 posted on 03/06/2023 4:52:18 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Does Garland think that Chicago is in Ukraine?

Oh, I forgot, Garland doesn’t care about what’s going on in Chicago.


2 posted on 03/06/2023 5:11:01 PM PST by Nextrush (FREEDOM IS EVERBODY'S BUSINESS-REMEMBER PASTOR NIEMOLLER)
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To: Nextrush

.
Make Ukraine a Dem Piggy Bank Again!

Same as it ever was.

.


3 posted on 03/06/2023 5:27:32 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (Statute of Limitations is going to elapse on Hunter Biden )
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To: DFG

So believable almost as if it was Bee material...oh nevermind


4 posted on 03/06/2023 5:58:46 PM PST by LeoTDB69
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To: AnthonySoprano
Make Ukraine a Dem Piggy Bank Again! Same as it ever was.

Partner, it seems like Ukraine got it right this time by kicking out the most crooked US AG evah.

5 posted on 03/06/2023 9:00:15 PM PST by TheConservativeTejano (The Business of America is Business>)
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