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Biden Shows Off New Electric Car That Can Hold Over 17 Boxes Of Classified Documents
Babylon Bee ^ | Feb 1, 2023

Posted on 02/01/2023 9:49:32 AM PST by SoConPubbie

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden took to the streets of D.C. today to promote a brand new electric car, capable of holding at least seventeen boxes of highly-classified documents.

"I can get all of these top-secret files to my beach house on a single charge! Not a joke!" said Biden, cruising up Pennsylvania Avenue. "Wait, weren't there eighteen boxes? Eh, who cares. Who wants ice cream??"

President Biden drove the car as part of his climate initiative, hoping to encourage everyday Americans to purchase $100,000 electric vehicles. "While no one can afford the electric car President Biden was driving, which happens to be awful for the environment, he really wanted room for all the boxes," said Chief of Staff Ronald Klain. "We also were hoping to highlight that Americans can get a $7,500 tax credit for buying an electric car. However, we must clarify that the car Biden was driving isn't even eligible for the tax credit, and was selected exclusively for the number of file boxes it could lug around."

President Biden reportedly will take the car to Delaware this weekend to monitor while the FBI collects classified documents strewn about his beach home. "We did have to make a couple of special adjustments to the car before we hit the road," said Secret Service Agent Tom Rogers. "There's a steering wheel in the passenger seat for the agent who does the actual driving, but we did install a toy steering wheel in the driver's seat so Biden can pretend. We also had to remove all the USB ports, he's got this awful habit of trying to lick them. Don't ask me."

At publishing time, Secret Service had been forced to remove several classified documents from Biden's possession as he was attempting to feed them to the car as fuel.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 02/01/2023 9:49:32 AM PST by SoConPubbie
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To: SoConPubbie

2 posted on 02/01/2023 9:53:49 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: SoConPubbie

Too funny!


3 posted on 02/01/2023 10:14:20 AM PST by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: SoConPubbie

It might hold ‘em but it will never be able to pull the entire massive collection held in secret.


4 posted on 02/01/2023 10:40:22 AM PST by V K Lee (Our CONSTITUTION. Written with DIVINE assistance by very wise men. A document unlike any other.)
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To: SoConPubbie
"I can get all of these top-secret files to my beach house on a single charge!

And he can get rid of them too when the whole thing spontaneously combusts.

5 posted on 02/01/2023 10:59:56 AM PST by dznutz
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To: Red Badger

The EV people are living in a Hollywood movie


6 posted on 02/01/2023 11:31:17 AM PST by butlerweave
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To: butlerweave

Yes, a Fantasy Future........................


7 posted on 02/01/2023 11:32:12 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: SoConPubbie
"but we did install a toy steering wheel in the driver's seat so Biden can pretend."

byden hot date...

.

8 posted on 02/01/2023 1:17:07 PM PST by TLI (ITINERIS IMPENDEO VALHALLA)
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To: Red Badger

Super shredder parade confetti in tow.


9 posted on 02/01/2023 1:42:29 PM PST by Vaduz (LAWYERS )
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