still strumming away
Posted on 01/14/2023 8:56:58 AM PST by John Semmens
Lashing out at the "haters who want me gone," Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot vowed "I won't quit until Chicago is the safest city in America." Her determination was sparked by contending candidate for mayor Paul Vallas' suggestion that "rising crime is a good reason to elect someone else to run the city."
Statistics show that major crime in Chicago increased by 41% in 2022. Lightfoot argues that "switching to an inexperienced leader will undo all the progress I've made since the last election. My performance is rated 'adequate' by all those who support my reelection."
She went on to blame the City's 102% rise in carjackings on "the insistence on owning and operating cars when more economical public transit is widely available." She called Vallas' promise to put more cops on the street "impractical. Experienced officers keep quitting. We're down 1500 since I took office four years ago and successfully implemented the defunding of the police that everyone wanted."
Lightfoot also rejected criticism of her campaign's plea for public school teachers to incentivize their students to work for her reelection by giving them better grades if they do. She insisted that "working on political campaigns is a civics lesson in how our democracy works." She blamed a staffer for "not making it clear that working on any campaign, even for my opponents, should be rewarded. I'm well aware that giving extra credit for only a specified candidate would be improper. I assure you that it was an innocent mistake with no nefarious intent."
An overlooked danger in any effort to have Chicago school teachers incentivize students is that there were more than 700 reported instances of teachers allegedly raping, sexually assaulting, or grooming students during the 2021-2022 school year. The Chicago Public Schools' Office of the Inspector General investigated 600 allegations and found more than half of them to be true. A spokesperson for the Mayor explained that "charges were filed in only 16 cases because it is too difficult to replace teachers who are jailed or dismissed. None of the other candidates for mayor comprehend the realities of trying to run a school system when gang violence is an ever present risk."
In a similar vein, Sam Bankman-Fried, CEO of the recently bankrupted FTX cryptocurrency hedge fund, denied stealing anyone's life savings, saying "they all voluntarily gave their money to me. I can't be held responsible for their bad judgment."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,489331.0.html
still strumming away
Procurement has finally matched the body bag demand.
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