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To Promote Inclusion, California Passes Law Requiring Men To Sit When They Pee
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/05/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/05/2022 12:38:06 PM PDT by DFG

SACRAMENTO, CA — This week, the California State Assembly announced that they have passed a new measure requiring men to demonstrate solidarity with the trans community by sitting when they pee.

"When the state legislature first introduced bill P.33.51T, or the 'Sit Together' Act, I knew we had to make this happen," said California Governor Gavin Newsom. "I mean, I've never once peed standing up - but as always, I am the exception that proves the rule of bigotry."

The law includes provisions for the demolition of existing urinals, with "reading stations" rebuilt in their place. These reading stations will include copies of inclusive reading material helping cis-men learn to do better. The government said it plans to pay for the reading material with all the money saved on janitors since men should no longer miss the pot and pee on the floor.

Critics say that the men's bathroom lines may now exceed women's bathroom lines, but advocates foresee an expected windfall for mobile game developers. Some industry leaders have already driven up the stock of the biggest mobile games, with genius stock-guesser Paul Pelosi recording a massive gain in his portfolio following the legislation.

At publishing time, the state's 9 remaining conservatives were taken into custody after being caught standing up to pee. They are expected to undergo gender re-education training, followed by gender reassignment surgery to help really increase their inclusiveness.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alreadydo; babylonbee; bathroom; california; mobilegames; pelosi; saferandcleaner; theonlyway; whodoesnt
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To: DFG

Liberal men all over America are high-fiving.


21 posted on 09/05/2022 2:12:03 PM PDT by Signalman
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To: DFG

The US Navy has already done that. The USS Gerald Ford has no urinals anywhere on the ship. That’s going to do wonders for equality.


22 posted on 09/05/2022 2:22:06 PM PDT by Tallguy
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To: FirstFlaBn
Especially when your name is Slartibartfast and it looks like the fjords of Norway.

-PJ

23 posted on 09/05/2022 2:26:36 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: DFG

New description for men. Person who can write name in snow


24 posted on 09/05/2022 2:41:36 PM PDT by artichokegrower
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To: Oscar in Batangas

I know women who stand to pee. Just got to figure out how. Being around enough nasty bathrooms will give them incentive.


25 posted on 09/05/2022 2:46:50 PM PDT by oldasrocks
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To: DFG

Damn, good to know. I have been taking a knee and end up with one wet knee, so I’m happy to now just sit…. 🤣🤣


26 posted on 09/05/2022 2:49:40 PM PDT by Lockbox (politicians, they all seemed like game show hosts to me.... Sting)
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To: artichokegrower

My cousin’s name is Rumplestiltskin. He always ran out of pee before he could finish his name.


27 posted on 09/05/2022 3:00:23 PM PDT by NorseWood
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To: DFG
In Germany they call this sitzinpeeing
28 posted on 09/05/2022 3:02:24 PM PDT by Mat_Helm
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To: DFG

I’m not taking this law sitting down!


29 posted on 09/05/2022 3:21:03 PM PDT by Auntie Dem (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Terrorist lovers gotta go!)
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To: DFG

It is hard to run with the Big Dogs, when you pee like a puppy! LGB


30 posted on 09/05/2022 4:07:25 PM PDT by stickandrudder (Another Bitter-Clinger! God-Family-Tribe - LGBFJB brotherhood)
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To: Mat_Helm

Actually it is Sitzpinkler.


31 posted on 09/05/2022 4:44:06 PM PDT by sloanrb
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To: DFG

I work in a place where the toilet stalls in the mens bathrooms are constantly filled with guys loafing and playing on their phones. I call them phone booths. So we would have to pee in the yard were this law in effect.


32 posted on 09/05/2022 8:11:42 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite its unfashionability)
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