Posted on 08/29/2022 10:58:43 AM PDT by John Semmens
In Yolo County, California 420 of the 595 (70%) individuals released without bail were rearrested for committing crimes after being given their freedom. One-hundred-and-twenty-three of the rearrests were for murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, robbery, carjacking or domestic violence. Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón, a prominent proponent of release without bail, brushed off these results, saying "first, let me point out that 30% were not rearrested. I'd call that a partial success. Second, plenty of violent crimes are committed behind bars. Third, no-bail reform is a work-in-progress. We should not be too hasty to judge it a failure."
Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-GA) has used $61,000 in campaign donations to pay for child support. Warnock spokesperson Meredith Brasher contends that "this expenditure of funds proves the Senator is a devoted father who is proud to continue to co-parent his two children as he works for the people of Georgia." Warnock's ex-wife Oulèye Ndoye disagrees, "Raphael is in willful contempt of the childcare agreement and refuses to reimburse me for childcare expenses." Brasher denied Ndoye's accusation and pointed out that "the Senator's attempt to sneak a special appropriation for the purpose of defraying his childcare obligations into the Inflation Reduction Act was only narrowly thwarted by a disloyal snitch." .
The Department of Homeland Security is spending $500,000 to build a security fence around President Biden's beach house in Delaware. Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas called the fence "necessary to prevent unwanted intruders from trespassing on private property" and insisted that "comparisons with the President's opposition to a border wall partially constructed under the Trump Administration are inapt. The President deserves to have the peace of mind that a barrier provides in excluding persons who might harm him. Trump's border wall impedes harmless migrants who only come seeking a better life. As former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said 'entering our country illegally is an act of love.' It is our obligation to return that love by giving them food, housing, medical care, education and whatever else we can think of to make them feel welcome. Five million immigrants come into the country since January 2021 because they trust President Biden to take care of them."
Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg said "the inclusion of a $7,500 subsidy for purchasing an electric vehicle in the Inflation Reduction Act was very insighful and timely considering that just a week later the Ford Motor Company announced an $8,000 price increase for its 2023 Mustang Mach-E extended range electric vehicle. The subsidy will enable more people to be able to afford these cars." The list price for the Ford vehicle is $70,000.
Fresh off her 66% to 29% thumping by Harriet Hageman, Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo) announced the formation of "a PAC dedicated to stopping any candidates who might try to make America great again. The voters decisively rejected greatness when a record breaking 81 million of them chose Joe Biden to be the next president in the 2020 election. He may be a demented fool, but as the famous journalist H.L. Mencken said 'in a democracy the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.' My PAC will help ensure that happens."
Democratic senatorial candidate and former Pennsylvania Lt Gov. John Fetterman vowed that if he is elected he will "fight inflation by shutting down oil companies and grocery stores. There's no mystery about how prices go up. Corporate executives order price increases. If we jail the executives and nationalize the businesses price hikes will stop. This will be an important first step toward a truly socialized America where all property will be collectively owned and the government will decide how the fruits of labor are distributed among the population." Fetterman also declined to debate his opponent "because the fact that Oz is an enemy of democracy is not debatable."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=478921.0
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