Sharpie Scores Huge Endorsement Deal With FBI

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a standout performance in the FBI's latest work, Sharpie has landed a huge endorsement deal as the preferred highlighter of America's federal agents.

"We couldn't do our job protecting America without the incredible permanent markers made by Sharpie," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "From helping us black out coverage of Hunter's laptop, to hiding how we acted as a tool for Democrats to investigate fabricated 'Russian collusion' charges - Sharpie has been there every step of the way."

Experts now estimate that blacking out words with marker comprises about 87% of what federal agents do. In lieu of practicing for hostage situations, the FBI has agents-in-training sit in small cubicles and practice blacking out words for several hours per day. "Not everyone has what it takes to be a federal agent," said Director Wray. "You have to possess the fortitude to spend hour after hour, days at a time, just blacking out reports. It's mind-numbingly boring. Plus, we really like the lines to be straight. It takes a special talent."

With the FBI being its biggest customer by far, Sharpie executives said the endorsement deal was a no-brainer. "We can barely keep up production with the pace the Bureau goes through markers these days," said Sharpie CEO Stan Wiggins. "This relationship really solidifies that when the professionals want to cover their tracks, they trust Sharpie. So if people at home find themselves having encouraged a mass shooter and need their name expunged - we hope they will trust Sharpie as well."

The FBI did admit they are struggling to get agents to remember to stop blacking out everything when they leak classified documents to the New York Times.

"From helping us black out coverage of Hunter's laptop, ..."

2020 Stolen Election

Now Fox News's Tucker Carlson is suddenly talking up the "Hunter Biden laptop situation." Last week, Carlson said recent polls show 79% of voters believe President Trump would have probably won reelection if the Hunter Biden laptop story wasn't suddenly dropped and secretly covered up months before the election. That same poll also shows that 71% of Democrat voters surveyed said that if they had known, before the election, that the [Hunter Biden] laptop contents were real and not [Russian] 'disinformation,' it would have changed their voting decision.

2020 Stolen Election

It's quite interesting (and telling) that Tucker Carlson is now suddenly all over the Hunter Biden laptop situation, because a month or so before the 2020 Election Steal, Tucker Carlson publicly announced on his Fox TV show that he emphatically decided to immediately drop all reporting and coverage on Fox News about anything having to do with the Hunter Biden laptop situation. How convenient for Hunter Biden ... and the senile Sleepy Joe puppet. (Now we know why the Laughing Hyena is constantly laughing all the time.)

2020 Stolen Election

P.S. Hopefully, more people are finally opening their eyes and coming around to the fact that the 2020 Election was stolen by Democrats/RINOs ... as I've been saying since that "2020 Election Day." (I put that in quotes because of the easily-corrupted mail-in ballots accepted way before "Election Day" as well as ballots counted and added to the total count way after the so-called "Election Day.") As I've said before: There's no possible way the hugely successful & hugely popular President Trump was "defeated" by the senile Sleepy Joe puppet who hid in his basement during his entire Presidential "campaign" to become supposedly "the most popular President in American history," "earning" more than "81 Million votes!" Literally no possible way that happened ........... unless .........

2020 Stolen Election

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