Di Leo: Driving Around in the Village of Chelm

Illinois Review ^ | August 26, AD 2022 | John F Di Leo

[jfd1776]

THE SCENE: As the curtain rises, we see an empty podium, in front of the humble 60-room mansion that serves as the village hall of the remote, rural village of Chelm. Next to the podium, on the lawn, is a shiny new American-made electric car.

It is mid-morning on a weekday, and the members of the local village council – the Wise Men of Chelm – have just completed their weekly board meeting.

A few reporters walk on stage, taking their seats in front of the podiums, and finally, the Mayor of Chelm’s press secretary, Benito Bugiardo, walks on stage, absentmindedly juggling a set of keys in his hands as he walks. The spotlight hits the press secretary, and we begin.

PRESS SECRETARY BUGIARDO: Good morning, everyone! Glad you could make it! I’d like to start with a little poll. How did you all get here this morning?

MR. SMITH, OF THE CHELM BUGLE: Me? I walked. My office is across the street.

[jfd1776]

I wish I could reprint the whole thing here, but I don't think it would be as readable, so I've linked it back to Illinois Review.

[Pete from Shawnee Mission]

Thanks John! Economies planned by Radicals and Academics, people who have never picked up a hammer, cast a gear, or harvested corn! Focus on the essentials, I guess, bread and vodka.

[Steely Tom]

Chelm was a village of fools, fools young and old. One night someone spied the moon reflected in a barrel of water. The people of Chelm imagined it had fallen in. They sealed the barrel so that the moon would not escape. When the barrel was opened in the morning and the moon wasn't there, the villagers decided it had been stolen. They sent for the police, and when the thief couldn't be found, the fools of Chelm cried and moaned.

From The Snow in Chelm, by Isaac Bashevis Singer

[cyclotic]

I tomorrows “press conference” about the coal plant a few towns over? The one that provides all the electric to Chelm? I hope so.

Great article.