Posted on 07/23/2022 2:54:44 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the first round of January 6th hearings coming to a close, Representatives Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney are feeling great about their audition to become MSNBC anchors.
"I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but I think I nailed it," said Mr. Kinzinger. "Feel like I've really gotten down that perfect combination of keeping a veneer of professionalism while showing nothing but total disdain for others."
With both representatives soon to be unemployed, the two began searching for new work about six months ago. "Interestingly, the skills you learn in Congress don't transfer to many other jobs," said Ms. Cheney. "It turns out fostering anger to gain power isn't that useful outside of politics and the media. Oh, and boxing promotion, but that really wasn't for me."
Nervous about the audition, Mr. Kinzinger reportedly began practicing his speeches for the hearing to a group of stuffed animals and superheroes he set up in his bedroom. "To call this hearing a partisan witch hunt is ludicrous," said Mr. Kinzinger to his Marvel collectibles. "It is absolutely fair, and people out there really do care about it! Now nod your head, Spider-Man."
At publishing time, Mr. Kinzinger and Ms. Cheney had placed a stipulation that MSNBC had to hire them together, as no job was worth separating their love.
well, good, because they are both likely to be starting off on new career paths in the coming months.
The Dumb and Dumber News Hour.
Should be a real treat.
Ha! Well done, Bee!
How about CNN+, oh wait.
Is there any hard news on cable or MSM? Seems like they’re auditioning as talk show opinions. Is there a real news anchor anymore?
I thought the Bee was satire? haha
They could be contributors, but not anchors. AOC might get a shot, but her seat is in no danger.
Dear Liz and Adam
Hate rots the soul.
Until I see the Babylon Bee byline, I’m never sure if it’s a real story or not.
Perfect LOL
👍👍
I love the Bee...
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