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Ex-NYC Mayor "Cooked Books" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 July 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/15/2022 10:54:44 AM PDT by John Semmens

News that former New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio used accounting gimmicks to conceal more that $200 million in losses on the City's ferry system resulted in a vigorous protest against suspicion that corruption was involved. DeBlasio insisted that "the cover-up was innocent. There was no corruption on my part. I received no kick-backs or remuneration of any kind. It was just your typical run-of-the-mill government waste and mismanagement of the kind we regularly see with all of our public transportation systems."

The former Mayor explained that "the creative bookkeeping was purely a defense mechanism. For one, I was running for president during 2019 and the early part of 2020. For two, there isn't a Democrat in the country who wouldn't have done exactly the same thing. Federal funds, state funds, and local funds have been squandered on public transportation for decades. Every accounting trick in the book has been used over-and-over everywhere in the country. Public funds are there for public use. No public figure—no mayor, governor, senator, or congressman has been called to answer for how any of this money has been spent. Why should I be singled out?"

DeBlasio reminded everyone that "the ferries cater to a richer clientele than the subways and buses. These travelers are making their daily commutes to the banks, brokerages, and corporate headquarters where they work. The frequency of stabbings, shootings, and rapes on the ferries is much lower than on other public transit. Why aren't people commending me for that?"

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,474730.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: corruption; democrats; satire; waste

1 posted on 07/15/2022 10:54:44 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The Ferry Riders are being charged at about three bucks, while the actual cost to the city was more like 20 dollars. New York has been spending money that they never will have. The whole city government is one big pyramid scheme.


2 posted on 07/15/2022 11:12:51 AM PDT by Colt1851Navy (What was wrong with Nixon?)
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To: John Semmens

And Mrs. Assclown “misplaced” $850 mil?


3 posted on 07/15/2022 11:14:24 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this? 😕)
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To: John Semmens

Well, his wife did steal about $850,000,000 so maybe they can use some of that to make up for the loss.


4 posted on 07/15/2022 11:26:49 AM PDT by qaz123
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To: John Semmens

We need a new Sarbanes-Oxley Act, intended for government agencies and non-profit organizations. Maybe it could be called the Paul-Jordan Act. SOX helped clean up some of the scandals from 20 years ago, and publicly-held corporations are probably pikers compared to the amoral scalawags in government and non-profits.


5 posted on 07/15/2022 11:42:08 AM PDT by Bernard (“the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." JFK 1-20-61)
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