Testimony Untainted by Actual Evidence [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 July 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

This week, the House Select Committee investigating January 6, 2021 "heard testimony from Cassidy Hutchinson that was untainted by any actual presence of the witness at the events recounted," asserted CNN commentator John Dean. "She knocked it out of the park. She was describing in detail situations that lead right to a crime—Trump grabbing the steering wheel, that's reckless driving—Trump lunging at the Secret Service agent, that's criminal assault. These are serious crimes."

CNN contributor Carl Bernstein enthused over Hutchinson's artistry saying "she gave the picture of a mad king. That's what the picture she drew was. Also, the whole idea is now absolutely confirmed, proven. He is a criminal and a seditious president of the United States. So are all of his supporters. The only remedy now is to outlaw the entire Republican Party. If that had been done when Nixon was president the atrocities committed by Trump today would have never been possible."

Bob Woodward said on CNN "she reminds me of me! Her vision extended beyond what she physically witnessed to an entirely different plane where true morality filled in the blanks of things she wasn't present to observe. Being rejected for a post-term job at Mar-a-Lago opened her eyes to the true evil of the man. Thank goodness her testimony wasn't allowed to be muddled by ill-intended cross-examination or rigid rules limiting hearsay."

Fox News' Geraldo Rivera called for Hutchinson to receive "a Presidential Medal of Freedom for her bombshell testimony. It was fair, accurate, complete, and balanced."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,474124.0.html

[Mr. K]

For satire to be funny it cannot be THIS CLOSE TO reality.