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Stacey Abrams Graces Cover Of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/17/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/17/2022 4:37:28 PM PDT by DFG

ATLANTA—In what many are calling a long-overdue act of democracy, justice, and equity, Sports Illustrated has honored Stacey Abrams as this year’s Swimsuit Edition cover model.

“Despite decades of unfair Abrams-suppression measures, we have finally ascended the pinnacle of what our institution represents: beautiful governors ignoring haters, racists, and meanies,” said Sports Illustrated managing editor Gob Dibbons to the press at yesterday’s unveiling event for the highly-anticipated magazine issue. Amid cheers for Abrams finally being recognized as a beautiful, powerful governor, several members of the press fainted when Dibbons drew back the black felt curtain to reveal the cover depicting the bombshell Democrat supermodel.

The Washington Post saved money by cribbing their 2020 article “The Power Of Stacey Abrams,” which had heaped breathless praise on Abrams: “Pandemonium ensues as she walks…like a runway supermodel, stops on a dime, poses, tilts her head slightly and smiles…Abrams is summoning her inner actress, and she is both enjoying the moment and getting through it to get to the conversation...” Sources confirmed that more of the article could be quoted, as it was causing too many readers to become flushed and out of breath.

Reporters from Fox News claim that Abrams lost the 2018 Georgia Governor’s election and is not, in fact, a beautiful governor, but they have had their press passes revoked for spreading hurtful disinformation.

At publishing time, Al Gore had also been honored as People’s “Sexiest President Alive,” which many are calling a crescendo of long-overdue democracy, justice, and equity.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abrams; algore; babylonbee; sportsillustrated; swimsuit
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1 posted on 05/17/2022 4:37:28 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Look me up on Amazon first. I’m selling eyewash:)


2 posted on 05/17/2022 4:38:38 PM PDT by Dogbert41 (Blessed are the peace makers.)
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To: DFG

3 posted on 05/17/2022 4:38:45 PM PDT by Travis McGee (EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: DFG

She would sink!!!!


4 posted on 05/17/2022 4:40:01 PM PDT by Thank You Rush
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To: DFG

Abrams TANK, more like it.


5 posted on 05/17/2022 4:41:49 PM PDT by CivilWarBrewing (Get off my back for my usage of CAPS, especially you snowflake males! MAN UP!)
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To: Thank You Rush

I’d go thru a sex change first.


6 posted on 05/17/2022 4:42:26 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET
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To: Thank You Rush

Greenpeace would try to roll her back into the ocean.


7 posted on 05/17/2022 4:42:45 PM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of Colorado scenery and wildlife, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: Dogbert41

Need a meme for Sports illustrated

Special Olympics Midgets swim meet being held in her water fill belly button


8 posted on 05/17/2022 4:43:02 PM PDT by tophat9000 (Tophat9000)
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To: DFG
The sad part is, I believed this, until I saw the Babylon Bee link.
9 posted on 05/17/2022 4:44:12 PM PDT by llevrok (Pronouns: Me/myself/& I)
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To: DFG
This push that obesity is natural is racism on the part of the beauty/modeling industry. All of the women featured in these "fat is beautiful" profiles are black women.

Especially that singer Lizzo, who thinks she's the hottest woman on the planet but looks like Peter Griffin in drag.

10 posted on 05/17/2022 4:45:19 PM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
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To: DFG

Did they consult a Biologist, first?


11 posted on 05/17/2022 4:46:04 PM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: Travis McGee

What? No Swimsuit photo?
Stacey’s a Chicken!
That, or she doesn’t want to appear ‘scantily clad’ in public.


12 posted on 05/17/2022 4:46:39 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: DFG

It’s a cultural attempt to change the perception of beauty which is European standards.


13 posted on 05/17/2022 4:48:50 PM PDT by sumuam
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To: Thank You Rush
She would sink!!!!

Au contraire! Fat weighs less than the water it displaces.
14 posted on 05/17/2022 4:48:57 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (“SollOZzo is known as 'The Turk.' He's supposed to be very good with a knife,"-T.Hagen)
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To: MtnClimber

So if Atlanta was OZ, then the house would land on Stacy A, because how could you miss.


15 posted on 05/17/2022 4:50:27 PM PDT by Waverunner (I'd like to welcome our new overlords, say hello to my little friend)
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To: DFG

The Jo Jo Biden Demented Batter Up Issue.


16 posted on 05/17/2022 5:06:16 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Don't blame me, I voted for President Trump. Let's Go Brandon! FJB!)
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To: DFG

17 posted on 05/17/2022 5:13:55 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Travis McGee

hahaha, Supermodel/Governer hahaha. Love the Bee


18 posted on 05/17/2022 5:14:48 PM PDT by fightin kentuckian
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To: Travis McGee

Whew, I’m glad she is not in a swim suit. 🤪😜


19 posted on 05/17/2022 5:24:55 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: DFG

She doesn’t look much worse than the current slob they have on the cover 🤪


20 posted on 05/17/2022 5:33:43 PM PDT by NWFree (Somebody has to say it)
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