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25 Things More Effective Than The COVID Vaccine
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/06/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/06/2022 2:49:34 PM PDT by DFG

New documents confirm the COVID vaccine is only 12% effective! Oh well... they tried. And everyone had fun, didn't they?

Here are a few things that ended up being more effective than the vaccine:

1) CNN+

2) Telling your wife to calm down

3) The prayer of an unrighteous man

4) "No Firearms Allowed" sign

5) Infant Baptism

6) Simply walking into Mordor

7) Wuhan Lab safety protocols

8) Amber Heard's publicist

9) Voting Republican in California

10) Your mom's weight loss program

11) Anti-piracy ads

12) Chiropractors

13) Jeffrey Toobin's "Turn Off Camera" Button

14) Truth Social

15) Public campaign to launch the Governance Disinformation Board

16) SNL

17) Faith without works

18) Blowing up a system that's too remote for an effective demonstration such as Dantooine

19) Defund the police movement

20) Parenting teens

21) Trump's spray tan

22) Pelosi's facelifts

23) Female preaching

24) Kamala Harris

25) Ice-type move against Steel-type Pokémon

Whew! Did that seem like a lot? There's more where that came from but our eyes were starting to glaze over. We have had a harder time focusing ever since our myocarditis scare.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cnn; covid; pelosi; vaccine

1 posted on 05/06/2022 2:49:34 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

much more likely:

ENTIRE CDC and FDA 7th floor getting LAMBOs.


2 posted on 05/06/2022 2:57:38 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: DFG

Ivr, HCQ, Vit D3, Vit C, quercetin, zinc, etc.


3 posted on 05/06/2022 3:01:48 PM PDT by upchuck (The longer I remain unjabbed with the clot-shot, the more evidence I see supporting my decision.)
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To: DFG

26) Finding a “reasonable prosecutor” in Washington DC


4 posted on 05/06/2022 3:05:19 PM PDT by outofsalt (If history teaches us anything, it's that history rarely teaches anything.)
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To: DFG

10) Your mom’s weight loss program

You callin’ my Mama FAT?


5 posted on 05/06/2022 3:09:50 PM PDT by dangus (I had some sympathies for some of Russia's positions... until they started a G-d-damned war.)
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To: DFG

#26 ron desantis...

4 more years...

desantis for florida governor 2022...

florida first!...


6 posted on 05/06/2022 3:14:39 PM PDT by heavy metal (smiling improves your face value and makes people wonder what the hell you're up to... 😁)
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To: DFG

Covid-19 Vaccine Effectiveness against the Omicron (B.1.1.529) Variant!:

https://www.nejm.org/do/10.1056/NEJMdo006518/popup/media/NEJMdo006518_1200x800.jpg


7 posted on 05/06/2022 3:24:33 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (Anyone, who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.!" ~ (Voltaire)!!)
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To: DFG

Number 9 hits way too close to home. As always, excellent reporting by the Bee.


8 posted on 05/06/2022 3:32:17 PM PDT by FormerFRLurker
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To: DFG

bkmk


9 posted on 05/06/2022 3:38:39 PM PDT by sbnsd
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To: DFG

Jack Daniels


10 posted on 05/06/2022 4:35:31 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? Homer Simpson)
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To: DFG

Funny stuff


11 posted on 05/07/2022 8:29:52 AM PDT by Old Yeller (A nation of sheep, produces a government of wolves.)
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