Judge Overturns Florida Election Reform [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 April 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

U.S. District Judge Mark Walker wrote a 288-page decision justifying his ruling that Florida’s recently enacted election integrity reforms are unconstitutional. The chief offending sections of the law included provisions to ensure the security of drop boxes, provisions to restrict bribing voters waiting in line at the polls, and regulations imposed on voter registration groups.

Walker contends that “limiting the placement of drop boxes to locations where the chain-of-custody can be continuously maintained is racist. Many racial minorities fear entering public buildings because of prior negative interactions with police, incarceration, or the slavery suffered by their forebears. To offset these fears drop boxes need to be on every street corner in every city—like the boxes where a person can buy a newspaper.”

“Similarly, waiting in line to vote is an arduous, time-consuming task,” Walker argued. “Interaction with friendly persons providing food, water, and voting advice helps make this task more bearable. Only a callous fiend would oppose this humanitarian aid.”

“Finally, since voting is supposed to be by secret ballot, it is intrusive to inquire into the identities of persons helping others to register to vote,” Walker asserted. “Where these groups get their funding from or whether they could pass a totally irrelevant background check is nobody else’s business.”

Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) vowed an immediate appeal to the 11th Circuit Court, saying that “law-abiding citizens of America have a legitimate interest in election integrity. Insecure or corrupted procedures cancel out valid votes from citizens of every race. Our new law protects this interest. Judge Walker has neither facts nor law on his side.”

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[daku]

… “limiting the placement of drop boxes to locations where the chain-of-custody can be continuously maintained is racist” …

The bill’s sponsor should sue the judge for defamation

[Skeptical constituent]

In other words, black are afraid to go into well lit, safe places and prefer the dark crime ridden areas? Hey judge, who’s the racist?

[mass55th]

In 2000, the Supreme Court, in the Bush v. Gore suit, the Court said that courts do not have the authority to “fashion new election law,” and only State Legislatures have that authority. So how is this Judge being allowed to “fashion new election law,” by eliminating parts of the existing election law legally created by Florida’s State Legislature?

[maxwellsmart_agent]

U.S. District Judge Mark Walker is just another Barack Obama stooge!!!

[kvanbrunt2]

In essence the judge has determined that because blacks use certain voting methods more than whites you can’t change those processes as that makes it racist.