Posted on 02/09/2022 9:18:07 AM PST by John Semmens
Alarmed that the recent Supreme Court overruling of President Biden's vaccine mandate "could unleash a monster wave of covid that will decimate the world's piopulation," T-Mobile proclaimed its own mandate. In a memo addressed to everyone alive, the Company announced that every employee, every vendor of components for our products, and every consumer of our services must be vaccinated by April 2, 2022."
"Those not in compliance will be appropriately sanctioned," the memo added. "Disobedient employees will be fired, Vendors' contracts will be cancelled. Customers' cell phone service will be terminated."
CEO Michael Sievert explained, "I was having nightmares that civilization as we know it could be brought down by a combination of aloof and uncaring Justices, the evil machinations of medical quacks, and the indifference of the masses who inordinately prize personal autonomy. While President Biden's heart is in the right place, he lacks the personal discipline to utilize the full power inherent in the Office of the President of the United States to rescue us from the looming catastrophe. T-Mobile will now fill the vacuum."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,461170.0.html
Ha. I’m safe. I have a tracfone!
I think Trac is a customer of T-Mobile and leases access thru them for thier customers, so ... nope. Glad this is satire.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.