Posted on 01/17/2022 4:49:33 PM PST by DFG
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In response to record levels of unprosecuted shoplifting, Walgreens stores in San Francisco have introduced a new "Frequent Looter Rewards Card."
"If you can't beat 'em, I guess all you can do is join 'em," said Sandra Lopez, regional manager in charge of 8 locations in the Bay Area. "We don't even have regular shoppers anymore—just looters."
The new punch cards will help looters keep track of their visits and allow store owners to better track their shink levels so they can more easily make insurance claims.
"Yes, I realize this makes no sense. Some might even call it insane," said Lopez, "but nothing makes sense here in San Francisco. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here anymore. The only reason I even still live here is that there are no more U-Hauls available."
San Francisco's DA has confirmed that looters who visit a Walgreens 10 times will be awarded a free pack of cigarettes and a mail-in voter registration.
You can sign up on the app!!
In all seriousness, I'm not sure why there remains any Walgreens stores within the city limits of San Francisco. Even if we were able to magically restore some order to this country (doubtful), SF would continue to be a hell-hole.
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The Bee has their hands full coming up with satire when the truth closely follows.
We went with Penske when UHaul couldn’t supply a truck in time.
Penske even offered us the same price.
I lived south of San Diego from 1980-1982. I hated it even back then, though living right on the beach was pretty cool. ;)
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