Posted on 01/11/2022 3:56:24 PM PST by MAGA2017
I got a call from my wife a short while ago. She got a phone call from the principal at my son's elementary school. He got into a "fight". All I know so far is that during recess he was playing basketball with some other kids and something happened. Evidently one kid kept swiping the ball from my son and he got frustrated and he shoved the other kid.
I doubt this was an actual fight with punches thrown. My son is a good kid but I know he sometimes gets frustrated easily. He's competitive when it comes to sports. This other kid or kids may have been doing something to really bug him. I'll learn more get he gets home later.
This has got me thinking about today's environment of "toxic masculinity" and how often boys get mixed messages about conduct and being a male. I got into fights at his age. It happens. I don't recall starting a fight but my personal policy growing up was not to take crap from anyone. Don't start a fight but be prepared to end one.
One time in junior high school I punched a kid in the face in the school yard because he was running around spiting on the other kids. When "my turn" for that came up I punched him and he got a bloody nose. I don't remember that kid bothering anyone else again after that. I don't even remember the school contacting my parents about it. Just part of life then.
I don't want my son to get into fights but at the same time I want him ready and able to defend himself if he has too.
I'm actually more concerned at the moment about whatever PC progressive "violence is bad" lecture he might have gotten from the school.
Anyway, I'm curious what you guys think.
Go hiking with him instead.
Ha.
Your story reminds me of mine.
In 6th grade a tall kid was running down the hall in my direction, head on. As he skipped along he was whapping everyone in the face with his hat. He was taller than me. I wasn’t about to be whapped by this turd. As he skipped up to me I swung with my nearest hand (left) at his jaw, but hit him in the throat instead. He dropped like a sack of taters. No more whapping.
My son is a good boy, said the father of Eddie Haskell.
Seriously, find out the truth first. Be a man and open your mind that your good boy have a he started this whole mess.
Could be start it? Yes. Did he finish the fight, possibly.
Keep in mind he may be the bully. But maybe not. Have no agenda but truth.
teach him to defend himself if attcked. Break a nose (down swing) or a collar bone. end it quick and walk away.
All that matters is that you back him up, if the situation calls for it.
I got into plenty of scuffles defending myself as a child. I was thin and petite and fat stupid mean girls thought I was weak because of my stature. My parents always backed me up when I defended myself, regardless of what the school or parents said. I wasn’t offensive or violent then, and don’t have violent tendencies now. But I do have self respect and I don’t let anyone bully me. As a result, I don’t have a victim attitude.
So... if the situation calls for it, support your son and that will be the voice he hears.
History book to the nose? Worked for me...
My 8 year old grandson got into a fight at school too. Another kid had been bugging him telling him he wanted to fight him. Finally the other kid smacked him in the face and my grandson son punched him in the mouth. They then proceeded to grapple until the teacher broke it up.
Other kid was given two days ISS (in school suspension) while my grandson got a 1.2 day. That day was the day they were to do their halloween thing.
My daughter picked him up and and on the way out of the school she loudly told him he did a good job defending himself and that she was taking him for ice cream!
The other kid hasn’t bothered him since.
Teach him to box the teach some other manly fighting skills.
30 years ago my daughter was in 3rd grade and told me that there was a 6th grade boy who was bullying the younger kids on the playground and she was afraid to go out for recess. This was before caller ID so I called the Bully’s father and told him to reign in his kid.
He got verbally abusive and demanded to know who I was. I told him that I knew who he was and where he lived and if his kid bullied my kid I would be dealing with him at a time and place of my choosing.
A few days later my daughter said the bully was no longer hassling kids.
What a great comment, we are brothers in arms!
The fight was recorded....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_agOnqeEeXw
The aftermath....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KjxFDGFKhk
I’m 65. Dittos on everything you said. My dad taught me and my four other brothers the same lesson. I took up martial arts. I got in fights. Lost some, won some, never stared one.
It is a different world today. Guns all over in schools, gang fights, kids killing each other.
Sad. Life has changed and is changing at light speed. I hope I’m wrong but I don’t think we’re ever going to get back to the world we once knew.
I hope and pray my wife and I are gone when the end finally comes.
In the 70s, in my town we fought for sport, to establish the pecking order. If you didn’t like your ranking, you tried to move up.
I guess teachers have to report everything today to parents or the school gets sued.
Sounds like your son handled the situation well. Be proud.
My son took a baseball bat on the school bus because a bully was picking on several kids. Told the bully if he continued he’d put him up against the wall. Kids parents reported my son and we got a Front Door visit from the Guidance Counselor.
Told us he was required to visit us but off the record was glad somebody put the bully in his place. There were no more problems on the school bus.
My son was getting verbally picked on in Jr. High. At the time a quiet and well behaved kid. But he also didn’t want to “rat” on the bully.
We finally convinced him to tell the teacher. She said she had thought something was going on between the bully and other kids but nobody ever did anything. So she kept her eye on the bully and “caught” him so the bully wouldn’t suspect my son had told her.
She called the parents in. Mom showed, but dad didn’t. She called the dad at work and he said something like “That’s my wife’s job, I’m busy.”
“No - your job right now is to be a father. If you aren’t here in 15 minutes your son is kicked out.” (Was an advanced program in a public school).
The teacher put the kid and parents on notice, and she also got him the help he needed with counseling, etc. He and my son ended up best friends. She was an amazing teacher. Lots of them still out there! (But sadly, plenty of lousy ones too.)
When my oldest son was in middle school, he was getting off the school bus, and accidentally stepped on the heel of the kid in front of him. The kid turned around and punched my son in the face. My son went to the school nurse because his mouth was bleeding and he had a terrible bruise on the inside of his bottom lip. The nurse reported it to the principal. The kid who punched my son was black. So the kid and my son were both suspended for “fighting”.
My daughter got in a fight in 6th grade if I remember right. Another gal walked up to her and jerked her necklace off and my daughter lit into her. Vice Principal called me and I go down there. She says we never ever tolerate fighting here. I said…well that’s all well and good but I taught my daughter to not start fights but to defend herself. How long is her suspension? The VP was stunned. She thought she was punishing my daughter and as we got up to leave I said…..let’s go get an ice cream. 😂😂
That is an amazing story....just wow! That was definitely back in the day because teachers are given no power now. She gave your son a better life & got the bully help. It’s just incredible. Are they still friends?
I was the go to teacher other kids would come to if they were being tormented. My brother, who is 10 years younger, was horribly bullied by two guys back in school. Made his life hell. They are both lawyers now.
It is to his benefit that he has not been “sissified”. He fought instead of whining to a teacher. A fighter (NOT an assailant) gets respect; a tattletale does not.
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