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Texas Annexes Oklahoma, Turns Entire State Into One Giant Buc-ee's
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/04/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/04/2022 1:22:18 PM PST by DFG

OKLAHOMA—Texas has announced the unilateral annexation of Oklahoma. The entire state will be leveled and turned into one giant Buc-ee's convenience story, according to sources within the Texas state government.

The move was made as part of an attempt to find a use for the state to the north of Texas, as it seemed to just be acres and acres of nothing worthwhile.

"There, that's a far better use of these 7,000 useless square miles," said Texas Governor Greg Abbott as bulldozers began demolishing the trailer parks, exotic cat zoos, and lame gas stations with fewer than 48 pumps that made up the state of Oklahoma. "Finally -- weary travelers just passing through Oklahoma can experience fine refreshments, plenty of gas pumps, and extremely tasty snacks."

Abbott then bit into a glazed pistachio. "Oh, man. This is to die for."

The governor then cut a ribbon with a bayonet attached to an AR-15, officially opening the massive Buc-ee's. The new fueling station has 800,000,000 pumps, 50,000 barbecue pits, hundreds of square miles of delicious flavored nuts, and over 10,000,000 of the cleanest bathrooms you'll ever use.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abbott; bucees; oklahoma; texas
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1 posted on 01/04/2022 1:22:18 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Buc-ee’s!


2 posted on 01/04/2022 1:23:37 PM PST by aMorePerfectUnion (Fraud vitiates everything ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏⁻ )
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To: DFG

Yeah, but will they keep the casinos open?


3 posted on 01/04/2022 1:29:23 PM PST by decal (MOLON JABE)
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To: DFG

New Mexico is not Texas’ largest State Park?


4 posted on 01/04/2022 1:33:03 PM PST by Paladin2
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To: DFG

Only reason Texas doesn’t fall into the Gulf of Mexico is because Oklahoma sucks...

(I’m from Tahlequah and love that joke)


5 posted on 01/04/2022 1:37:23 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: DFG

Texas needs the water.

We need to sell it to them for big big $$$.


6 posted on 01/04/2022 1:39:02 PM PST by ImJustAnotherOkie (Let's go Brandon)
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To: aMorePerfectUnion

We’ve had one here for a year or two. The wife and I went this summer just to check it out...at 12 noon on a work day.........I walked out a nervous wreck.


7 posted on 01/04/2022 1:39:14 PM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: DFG
The entire state will be leveled and turned into one giant Buc-ee's convenience story

Because the Longhorns will never beat the Sooners or Cowboys!

8 posted on 01/04/2022 1:40:09 PM PST by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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To: DFG
"There, that's a far better use of these 7,000 useless square miles," said Texas Governor Greg Abbott ...

I'm pretty sure Oklahoma is larger than 7000 square miles.

9 posted on 01/04/2022 1:45:01 PM PST by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Suppo)
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To: Vendome

It is also the reason that trees lean to the north in Texas.

FYI

Only reason Texas doesn’t fall into the Gulf of Mexico is because Oklahoma sucks...

(I’m from Tahlequah and love that joke)


10 posted on 01/04/2022 1:46:49 PM PST by Dacula ("Don’t Wait Until Some Great Crisis Comes Before Deciding On Christ.” - Ty Cobb)
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To: DFG

On a smaller scale the Mayor of Boston announced a grand plan to ease city parking by annexing Rhode Island


11 posted on 01/04/2022 1:48:40 PM PST by muir_redwoods (Freedom isn't free, liberty isn't liberal and you'll never find anything Right on the Left)
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To: Dacula

:-)


12 posted on 01/04/2022 1:59:21 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: V_TWIN

Once you’ve negotiated the crowd at one it becomes glaringly apparent that sense of purpose and situational awareness isn’t sold there.


13 posted on 01/04/2022 2:12:59 PM PST by txeagle
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To: Paladin2
Seen on a shirt in Floresville TX


14 posted on 01/04/2022 2:21:05 PM PST by jy8z (When push comes disguised as nudge, I do not budge.)
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To: DFG

Now that’s funny!! LOL


15 posted on 01/04/2022 2:34:17 PM PST by Howie66 (Let's Go Brandon!!)
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To: DFG

Texas needs to annex Oklahoma to offset the influx of liberals who are moving to Texas. Oklahoma is the only state where the Democrats lose national elections in every county, even the urban areas.


16 posted on 01/04/2022 2:47:25 PM PST by FreedomForce
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To: FatherofFive

“Because the Longhorns will never beat the Sooners or Cowboys!”

I am a Texan and pull for all Texas teams including UT. However, when Texas plays OU I pull for OU. It takes those arrogant little pharmacy interns I used to train down a notch or two. I do rub it in. They are actually very good and skilled. I just can not stand their arrogance.


17 posted on 01/04/2022 3:08:00 PM PST by cpdiii (CANE CUTTER-DECKHAND-ROUGHNECK-OILFIELD CONSULTANT-GEOLOGIST-PILOT-PHARMACIST )
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To: DFG
Buc-ee’s!

I, a Texas/Oklahoma scion, just recently learned that Florida has 2 Bucee’s! on I-95 in the Daytona & St Augustine Areas! I am, as a resident of Florida's Gulf Coast, quite jealous! My last trip to Tejas, many years ago, introduced me to the Buc-ee’s TEXAS BIG! Management ... I-75 is also a big feeder!

18 posted on 01/04/2022 3:30:04 PM PST by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: SES1066

While I do like Buccee’s their refusal to supply windshield washing squeegees in an area renowned for swarms of love bugs, simply baffles me.


19 posted on 01/04/2022 3:37:48 PM PST by orlop9
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To: cpdiii
However, when Texas plays OU I pull for OU.

A reporter once asked Bob Stoops why OU did so well recruiting players from Texas. He responded, "When I meet with the kids from Texas, I tell them they can go to UT and play for a state championship. Or, they can come to OU and play for a National Championship!"

Not sure how the move to the SEC will work for Texas recruiting. I think they will have a rough 10 years after the move.

20 posted on 01/04/2022 4:00:06 PM PST by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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