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I had a wife like this....except she would write notes, in her own code, to herself, had missing time where she didn't know if she had left the house, and would try to talk herself out of pins, razors and other things in regards to hurting the kids.

She did little housework, would try to hide the kids shoes and clothing so I couldn't take them to the playground. Had her mother come over and do the laundry, cooking, etc.

When I finally figured out the code of the notes she was writing I was worried sick about my kids when I left for work. I tried to talk to her about the notes and her controlling behavior, but she wouldn't talk.

Long story short, I got the child protective services involved and tried to get her psych help via the protective agencies. They refused to help. The only recourse I had was to force it by getting the kids away from her via custody...that meant separation of divorce proceeding. That turned into a 3 year, 30k battle that I lost when the feminist guardian ad litem took her side and the psychologist involved saw no problem with the notes.

At the end of the deal she ended up with full physical custody and half joint legal custody. I ended up with a broken family and living alone because the judge didn't have the balls to deviate from the sellout psychologist and the feminist guardian opinions, regardless of the notes.

All I had was a fresh faith that only God could protect my little girls unless I wanted to take them and hit the road...which is no life for kids.

The upshot is poor choices have consequences and sometimes the kids end up paying the price. Life is a trade off. Grandparents DO have legal rights to see the grandkids, but leveraging those rights legally through court has monetary and relationship costs.

Choose your steps very carefully and weight the costs vs. the benefits. As you know kids grow very fast and are fairly resilient....my advice is to do what you can in this situation to let the kids know you are there for them. Trust in the Lord and pray for them. This will pass. Keep a watchful eye for acute threats and act if you must...but being the motivating force of ripping a family apart, that has SOME order, is not a good thing. Often times, things could be much worse. Be thankful for that.

AND DRINK!!!! :)

As you know kids grow very fast and are fairly resilient....my advice is to do what you can in this situation to let the kids know you are there for them. Trust in the Lord and pray for them. This will pass. Keep a watchful eye for acute threats and act if you must...but being the motivating force of ripping a family apart, that has SOME order, is not a good thing. Often times, things could be much worse. Be thankful for that.

Wise words Griffin.

YIKES!!