Posted on 10/20/2021 3:15:56 PM PDT by DFG
NEW YORK, NY—Experts are encouraging everyone to get their kids vaccinated, and are predicting dire consequences if this is not done. According to several top scientists, Pfizer executives won't meet their sales goals if you don't vaccinate your 5 to 11-year-old.
"This would be absolutely catastrophic for struggling Pfizer execs," said Dr. Wexner, an expert. "Not vaccinating your kindergartener could jeopardize their ability to make their Porsche payments, pay off their mistresses, or remain platinum members at their golf clubs. We just can't let that happen."
Experts say that while COVID poses almost zero risk to children, and the vaccine poses a small chance of making children die, the consequences of not vaccinating kids would be far worse, as drug company execs may have to dip into savings to buy a hooker. Even worse, economists warn that not vaccinating kids could cause drug company stock to dip one or two points, affecting millions of portfolios slightly.
"The science has spoken," said Wexner. "We can't afford for you to not do this. Please, do it for our Q4 sales numbers, er... I mean, do it for the kids."
Appropriate.
And tragic.
Especially not this time.
I’m betting more than most of us will make in our lives.
Seeing more and more of this type of humor or comments.
The Anti-Vax movement is not Mainstream as they like to think they are.
The Babylon Bee should have used “Whistleblower” as they’re in vogue nowadays.
The Bee nails it again... unfortunately.🙄
Mass Slaughter
Had double Pfizer dose. No problems.
Still got Covid - albeit as a rather bad head cold.
However, NOT getting any boosters. Sick and tired of this.
I have NO regard for any Democrat in government and consider them to be the enemy. A real enemy. I look down upon anyone considering this loathsome party to be anything but vermin.
Hopefully, we will soon treat them as such...or better...as critters.
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