Skip to comments.
White House Whistleblower Claims Strangers Drag Him From Place To Place And Make Him Sign Papers And Read Words On Monitors And He Hardly Gets Any Ice Cream
Babylon Bee ^
| 10/09/2021
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 10/10/2021 7:24:03 AM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C.—CNN has just released a bombshell interview with an anonymous White House whistleblower, who gave a harrowing account that could spell trouble for the Biden administration.
Speaking with Jake Tapper, the whistleblower—who identifies as a "White House aide who is young, with no hair plugs or dentures and definitely not Joe Biden"—gave an account of brutal working conditions in the White House.
"Listen, folks, here's the deal," said the unidentified whistleblower through a distortion filter to protect his identity. "It stinks here, Jack! Strangers drag me from place to place and make me sign papers and read words on monitors and I hardly get any ice cream!"
"With so much to lose, why are you coming forward now?" asked Jake Tapper solemnly.
"Because it's the right thing to do, you lying dog-faced pony soldier!" said the mystery man whose face was shrouded in darkness. "No ice cream? Are you kidding me? It's inhumane! And I haven't sniffed hair in a week!"
We reached out to President Biden for a response but were unsuccessful.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; icecream; whistleblower; whitehouse
1
posted on
10/10/2021 7:24:03 AM PDT
by
DFG
To: DFG
It’s funny because it is based in fact.
2
posted on
10/10/2021 7:28:41 AM PDT
by
JoSixChip
(2020: The year of unreported truths. )
To: DFG
To: DFG
"Because it's the right thing to do, you lying dog-faced pony soldier!" said the mystery man whose face was shrouded in darkness. "No ice cream? Are you kidding me? It's inhumane! And I haven't sniffed hair in a week!" Five coherent (although short) sentences in a row? C'mon, man! The Bee went too far to be believable. :-)
4
posted on
10/10/2021 7:35:48 AM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
("Anti-fascist" is from the official name of the Berlin Wall: Anti-fascist Protection Barrier.)
To: JoSixChip
"It's funny because it is based in fact."
Except for the "no ice cream" part. I'm sure they feed him all the chocolate chocolate chip he can eat, just to keep him calm and pliable.
5
posted on
10/10/2021 7:39:00 AM PDT
by
LIConFem
(Read up on Russia's Oct, 1917 Revolution... And prepare.)
To: DFG
6
posted on
10/10/2021 7:41:25 AM PDT
by
Leaning Right
(I have already previewed or do not wish to preview this composition.)
To: DFG
I can’t believe CNN is getting scooped so often now on these Breaking National Stories.
7
posted on
10/10/2021 7:43:33 AM PDT
by
eyeamok
(founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
To: DFG
The Babylon Bee posts are getting to sound so so right on and believable. They fit in with all the B.S. that is being spilled and happening.
8
posted on
10/10/2021 7:44:14 AM PDT
by
mcshot
(OMG! Really? WTF! I don't think we're OK. Is that the drain I see? Oh noes!)
To: JoSixChip
With the rise of Wokeness and the imposition of the Biden (mis)administration, the Babylon Bee has a lot of material to use.
9
posted on
10/10/2021 7:47:04 AM PDT
by
Wilhelm Tell
(True or False? This is not a tag line.)
To: DFG
10
posted on
10/10/2021 7:58:56 AM PDT
by
j.havenfarm
(20 years on Free Republic, 12/10/20! More than 3700 replies and still not shutting up!)
To: j.havenfarm
“C’mon man!”
____________________
Took the brilliant words out of my mouth!
11
posted on
10/10/2021 8:05:06 AM PDT
by
proud American in Canada
("Fear is a reaction; Courage is a decision." Winston Churchill)
To: DFG
The headline gave it away, had to be the Bee...lol.
BTW, has anyone seen Doctor Jill lately? She's apparently gone into hiding, probably with Brian Laundrie.
12
posted on
10/10/2021 8:08:30 AM PDT
by
Night Hides Not
(Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
To: DFG
I can’t laugh when it’s hard to differentiate Bee and reality
13
posted on
10/10/2021 8:18:36 AM PDT
by
shanover
(...To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.-S.Adams)
To: DFG
The Babylon Bee should be a news paper it would drive the crazier than they already are bet they would out sell all the rest.
Humor send the left up the wall.
14
posted on
10/10/2021 8:30:21 AM PDT
by
Vaduz
(women and children to be impacIQ of chimpsted the most.)
To: JoSixChip
We have to hold an investigation to catch this creepy whistleblower, Jack.
15
posted on
10/10/2021 8:45:12 AM PDT
by
alstewartfan
("She looks like she's 19 years old, sitting there like a lady with her legs crossed." Creepy Joe)
To: alstewartfan
16
posted on
10/10/2021 11:30:01 AM PDT
by
Does so
(USA is run from 2446 Belmont Rd, NW, DC, (Kalorama). Why else the 9/11 deadline for Afghanistan?)
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
