Posted on 09/14/2021 3:27:50 PM PDT by DFG
Already, there are Republican operatives trying to undermine the sanctity of our holy democracy by suggesting that the Democrats may cheat in Gavin Newsom's recall election. Here at the Babylon Bee, we pride ourselves in exposing misinformation and then murdering it in broad daylight to warn other misinformations that may try to sneak up and misinform people and undermine the very foundations of our incorruptible government.
Here are ten reasons you can rest assured that the recall election will be safe and secure:
1) Mail-in ballots are the most secure system of voting ever devised: That should be obvious after they worked flawlessly to elect Joe Biden.
2) A rich white man is running the election: Everyone knows you can trust rich white men.
3) Governor Newsom printed extra ballots, just in case you lose yours: They are available for free in thousands of ballot vending machines around the state! Cool!
4) Newsom has volunteered to personally count all the ballots himself, for maximum security: What a nice guy!
5) Because CNN said so: And CNN has been named the most accurate source of news in the state of California for 20 years running!
6) The progressive and open-minded people of California would NEVER conspire to prevent a black man from becoming governor: That's just silly.
7) Gavin Newsom is an expert at keeping things safe and secure: Like the southern border.
8) People like Harvey Weinstein are able to trust Gavin Newsom with their deepest, darkest secrets: So you can surely trust him with your election.
9) With all the fraud in the last few elections, we're confident they've gotten all the kinks out: We're pretty sure this one's gonna run smoothly this time.
10) Any suggestion that Democrat politicians would operate with anything less than total integrity is a deranged conspiracy theory: And you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking it. I hope you're happy with yourself. We've alerted the FBI.
There you have it! Can't argue with this reasoning!
The Bee messed up again - this is real news
I like the Babylon Bee once in a while, but it seems here lately, the number of ‘Bee’ posts has tripled.
I have zero say in it, but I wish these were kept in the sidebar, vs all mixed up with actual posts.
Headlines are making me panic for no reason.
Oh well.
It was decided weeks ago. You have to be pretty stupid to not understand what happened to our country last Nov. 2020. All the ballots needed for Newsome have already been printed, filled out, and submitted. That’s why people that came up to vote found out that they had already voted.
Get real, America. There’s not good reason to vote anymore.
Fortified!
The Bee is full of BSSSSSS.
True. There will never be a conservative in the White House.
there will if we have the guts and numbers to take back our country..
But..
every day that goes by..
I am closer to agreeing with you.
Thanks for posting this. I know it’s satire, but it’s more like real news than anything coming out the MSM.
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