A pandemic appendix to The Devil's Dictionary

American Thinker.com ^ | August 15, 2021 | Rob Jenkins

[Kaslin]

Ambrose Bierce was an early 20th-century writer, newspaperman, and adventurer known for his rapier wit. Indeed, among American satirists, Bierce is (in my opinion) second only to Mark Twain.

Perhaps his most famous work, in addition to some excellent short stories (like "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge"), is The Devil's Dictionary, a glossary of everyday terms cynically reformulated in accordance with Bierce's mordant sense of humor.

For example, he defined "politics" as "the conduct of public affairs for private advantage." A politician, he said, is "an eel in the fundamental mud upon which the super-structure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive."

Unfortunately for us, Bierce lived about a hundred years too early. What fun he might have had with our current proliferation of linguistic bovine excrement. But since he is not here to speak for himself, I will take it upon myself to attempt to channel, in my own feeble way, some small measure of his wit and wisdom.

I therefore humbly offer this "2021 Pandemic Update" to The Devil's Dictionary, with apologies to Bierce, his heirs, and in particular his literary estate.

[butlerweave]

The Great Vaccine Pandemic of 2021

[livius]

Very good! The definitions were right on the mark.

[sauropod]

Bkmk

[dblshot]

Democrat party: a good time for democrat politicians and apparatchiks paid for lobbyists and tax dollars.
Republican party: A gathering of old men in a wood paneled room being served expensive whiskey and cigars while they congratulate themselves on stopping 5% of what the democrats wanted.

[HartleyMBaldwin]

I’ve enjoyed Bierce for many years. Try the short story collections “Negligible Tales” and “The Parenticide Club”.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

My favorite Bierce definition, which appears shallow but is actually quite deep:

MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Devil’s Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce:

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/972/972-h/972-h.htm

[SES1066]

In 1913, at age 71, Ambrose Bierce, a Union Army Veteran, undertook a tour of Civil War sites. Upon reaching Texas, he crossed into Mexico and attached himself to Pancho Villa’s insurgent army against Victoriano Huerta’s forces. Bierce was last identified at the Battle of Tierra Blanca, 23-25 November 1913.

At that point he disappears from history. While Mexico was involved in a very complex civil war, the 1910-20 Mexican Revolution, Bierce was a non-combatant and, at age 71-2, unlikely to be a threat nor rich enough to kidnap. While there were several investigations, including an official US Government inquiry, nothing ever came of them.