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DOJ Warns Against Election Audits [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 August 2021 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/01/2021 11:10:27 AM PDT by John Semmens

Concerned that election audits in the states "pose a threat to the hard-won unity that the Biden Administration has brought to this country," the US Department of Justice is warning states that "enough is enough" and that "serious consequences may ensue if these unprecedented efforts are allowed to continue."

Attorney General Merrick Garland questioned the utility of audits. "Once the results are certified the outcome is effectively 'set in stone.'" he maintained. "As an example, suppose a post-game review of video of a baseball game shows that a bad call, use of illegal equipment, or cheating resulted in the wrong team being declared the winner. They don't reverse to outcome. They realize that mistakes and cheating are part of the game. Remember, the Houston Astros employed an illegal scheme to steal signs and eventually went on to win the World Series. They weren't stripped of their ill-gotten championship. We need to be as mature and realistic as professional sports and recognize that what's done is done and rally behind President Biden as our leader."

Garland also dismissed the argument that the numerous questions raised about the 2020 election procedures warrant discarding the emergency protocols used. "Hey, more ballots were cast in this election than ever before," he pointed out. "That in itself is a triumph worthy of celebration. I see no need to restore or enact so-called election integrity laws. The whole idea of voter ID strikes me as a violation of the right to a secret ballot. And the notion that vote-by-mail ballots should be returned in the postage paid envelopes provided and not in unsecured boxes delivered by political activists is, in my view, systemically racist. Our system needs to be simplified. Voting is a human right, so there is no valid reason for rejecting any ballot no matter who casts it or delivers it. We will prosecute any state that falls short of this ideal."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=444170.0


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; elections; fraud; satire

1 posted on 08/01/2021 11:10:27 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Do away with the dept of justice.


2 posted on 08/01/2021 11:42:23 AM PDT by Carry me back (Cut the feds by 90%)
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To: John Semmens

Bttt.

5.56mm


3 posted on 08/01/2021 11:49:17 AM PDT by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho need to go.)
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To: John Semmens

So, elections are just a game?


4 posted on 08/01/2021 1:18:07 PM PDT by super7man (Madam Defarge, knitting, knitting, always knitting.)
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