Posted on 07/28/2021 12:56:45 PM PDT by DFG
YAVIN—In a shocking last-minute decision, talented young rebel pilot Luke Skywalker has pulled out of the Death Star trench run to focus on his mental health.
According to sources, he started hearing the voices of dead people as he was lining up his shot at the exhaust port and thought it would be best for him to bow out of the attack so as not to drag down his teammates.
"Luke, you've switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?" said a Yavin base controller.
"I'm just not feeling this right now," said Luke. "I'm getting pretty stressed out and hearing these weird voices in my head, and I think I need to step back and focus on me for a while."
Naboo Senator Jar Jar Binks, an annoying creature who has never piloted an x-wing a day in his life, criticized Skywalker's decision. "Meesa woulda blowed up dee Death Star quick-quick!" he said on Galactic social media.
Imperial News Network has confirmed that the Yavin base has been destroyed, and the rebels defeated. Skywalker will be taking a few months off on the remote planet of Dagobah for some much-needed self-care.
Because the fake Olympics is so life and death you know.
OUCH!
Well she is small enough to replace R2D2 in the rear seat.
“...planet of Dagobah for some much-needed self-care.”
Along with his Service Robot to give him emotional support.
BEEEEEEE!
so much truth here
Use the Farce Luke !
Obviously The Bee is dubious about her dropping out....as am I.
I suspect it was some sort of blm protest.
“Meesa woulda blowed up dee Death Star quick-quick!” he said on Galactic social media”
Galactic social media.....that’s freakin’ hilarious!
She is going to be the poster child for mental health. She needed a platform.
Luke was always Mental , well his whole family was Mental
Snort…the Bee stings again
Must not have taken. No wonder he was the last Incel Jedi.
Cruel
Because racist incels on their mommy’s couch who couldn’t do 10 pushups think they know jack about what goes on inside another person’s head who happens to be the best in the world.
She quit on her teammates in the Olympics. That’s just a fact.
“...planet of Dagobah for some much-needed self-care.”
Along with his Service Robot to give him emotional support.
Exshuuuuuuuuthe MEEEEE
Exshuuuuuuuuthe MEEEEE
It’s them/they/their’s “Emotional Support Non-biological Technological Electronical Entity”!!!!!
You BIGOT!
I thought the best in the world stood on the top platform.
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