China Escalates Threats [semi-satire]

Irritated by foreign criticism of some of his policies, President Xi Jinping vowed that "The Chinese people will absolutely not allow any foreign force to bully, oppress or enslave us and anyone who attempts to do so will face broken heads and bloodshed in front of the iron Great Wall of the 1.4 billion Chinese people." The examples of "bullying" that so incensed Xi include objections to China's treatment of the Uyghurs and its culpability for the coronavirus pandemic that has resulted in nearly four million deaths around the globe.

The Uyghurs are an ethnic minority whose members are being held in concentration camps. Atrocities inflicted on these people by the Chinese government include forced labor, religious suppression, brainwashing, and compulsory sterilization. Xi claims "these harsh measures are necessary to remake these backward people into committed socialists" and insisted "this is an internal matter that the International Criminal Court has agreed is outside its jurisdiction." Xi contrasted his country's "organized efforts to deal with troublesome minorities with the chaotic approach used in America where lax gun control allows blacks to murder each other in the streets."

XI totally rejected any blame for the pandemic, saying "the evidence shows that it was the US National Institute for Health that funded the risky 'gain of function' research at our Wuhan Lab. Frustrated that his own country's government blocked this research from being conducted in America, the very devious Dr. Fauci foisted it on us. This germ warfare attack on China would have provoked a justifiable retaliation were it not for our regard for human life that restrains us from striking back. It does, however, remind us of our obligation to extend our protection to our compatriots living in Taiwan."

Secretary of State Anthony Blinken credited "the years of tireless diplomacy exercised by Hunter Biden during his various business dealing in China and around the world for the surprisingly moderate stance taken by Xi. From his point of view I can see that he has good reason to resent the way his country has been treated. If it weren't for the soothing influence of the President's son we might well be at war today."

In related news, according to intelligence reports China is building 100 new long-range missile silos in the northwest corner of the country—a location that US Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin called "diabolically clever. With the missile solos so close to the Uyghur concentration camps they are off-limits to any potential effort on our part to try to neutralize this threat lest we be the authors of the genocide of the internees."

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Of course, they kill.millions, someone complains little xi’s ego.pops his head..why shouldn’t china kill everyone but themselves..same mentality that got us covid..

No wonder they would win a nuke war, the world no m longer wants freedom sadly..

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