No Bail for QAnon Shaman [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2021 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

While last year's Antifa and Black Lives Matter rioters, some of whom looted businesses, fought with cops, and burned down buildings were released either without bail or having bail provided for them at the urging on then Sen. Kamala Harris, Jacob Chansley (also known as the Qanon Shaman) who did nothing as violent cannot be released. Judge Royce Lamberth ruled that Chansley "is simply too dangerous."

"To the inexperienced eye, the violence, theft, and destruction of last year looks like the more serious offense," Lamberth admitted. "However, those criminal acts occurred far from the nation's capital and posed no immediate danger to any important persons. In contrast, Chansley was in the Capitol building itself and sat in House Speaker Pelosi's chair. He was close enough to have harmed important people. Furthermore, by sitting in the chair of the person who is second in line for the presidency, Chansley embarrassed the government in ways that undermined its majesty and omnipotence.My God! He was wearing buffalo horns while he did these things. He must stay in jail as a message to others who may harbor similar disdain for their rulers."

"A confounding element is Chansley claim that he didn't break into the Capitol," Lamberth added. "He says the police let him and hundreds of others in. While there is no evidence that he attacked anyone or damaged any property, prosecutors describe him as a leader of QAnon who has the crazy idea that Trump will bring Satanic child-murderers to justice. Since he won't admit his guilt or renounce his crazy ideas I can't allow him out."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=431461.0

[bobbo666]

So, the 20 some people murdered during the DNC-sponsored/directed riots by Antifa and BLM were not important persons, huh?
May you rot in Hell for that!