Posted on 01/05/2021 9:47:05 AM PST by John Semmens
Georgia Democrat candidate for the US Senate Jon Ossoff touted his "international support" as a reason for voters to elect him on January 5th. Among his benefactors are Chinese businesses and al-Jazeeraa.
Ossoff contends that "these connections make me especially well-qualified to serve in the Senate. The Constitution gives the US Senate special powers for dealing with foreign affairs. All treaties, for example must be submitted to the Senate for approval before they become the law of the land."
"More important, though, is the fact that by having China in my corner I am better positioned than my opponent to ensure smooth relations between our two countries," Ossoff added. "I know that Joe Biden is anxious to bring our two countries into a closer ideological alignment. I will be a better asset in helping to bring this about than Perdue could ever be. China has a great control over internal movement by its citizens. They were able to completely lockdown Wuhan Province to stem the spread of COVID in their country. The Washington Post has recently come out in favor of internal passports for US citizens. I will help the Biden Administration get this idea implemented. My opponent could never match me on this issue. His out-dated devotion to personal liberty would hinder his ability to see the value in greater control over travel within our borders."
In related news, two volunteers—Cesar Guerrero and Santina Walker—who were distributing flyers urging Georgians to vote for Ossoff and his fellow Democrat senate aspirant Raphael Warnock were arrested for stealing packages from the porches of the houses they visited. Guerrero argued with the arresting police, asserting that "I was only taking what should be my fair share of the property that Democrats are going to redistribute to people like me." Failing to persuade the arresting officer, Gerrero punched him in the head several times. Ossoff admitted that "these enthusiastic youngsters went a little bit too far in their eagerness to bring about a meaningful transformation of society. They and their peers will get their fair share of the wealth after the election of Warnock and myself gives Democrats full control of the federal government."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=424342.0
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