Posted on 10/25/2020 11:15:57 AM PDT by John Semmens
Concerned that the fading severity of COVID might lead residents to disregard common sense safety procedures, Gov. Gavin Newsom has announced strict new rules for Thanksgiving Day celebrations.
"Ideally, people should stay away from each other until COVID is no longer among us," Newsom said. "Individuals dining alone at home would be optimal. However, I am not without mercy. Families and friends may gather for Thanksgiving Day provided the following rules are observed. First, no more than three different households may gather in any one place. Second, gatherings are limited to a maximum of two hours. Third, all gatherings are restricted to outdoors. Fourth, masks must be worn at all times. Fifth, there must be a minimum distance of six feet in all directions between each participant at all times. Sixth, singing and loud talk are forbidden. Seventh, vegan turkey is advised, but not yet required for this year. Participants may go inside to use the toilet, but it is preferred that they relieve themselves outdoors as many residents of San Francisco have been doing for years."
"These rules will be enforced by a vigorous program of police patrols, drone surveillance, and neighborhood tattle tails," the Governor warned. "If multiple cars are seen at a residence, but no one is seen outdoors near the home a presumed violation will be logged and officers dispatched to break up nonconforming gatherings. Failure to disperse will be cause for arrest. Resistance will be met with all due force. We will not allow the people of this state to lapse into a state of disobedience and anarchy. If everyone behaves, I see no reason why we cannot have as joyous a Thanksgiving as is possible during these grim times of the pandemic."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=417963.0
Speaking of turkeys.....
This is not satire posted below:
California Gov. Newsom’s Thanksgiving Rules Explained as Severe Restrictions Put in Place
NewsWeek ^ | 10/22/2020 | Soo Kim
“Gatherings are defined as social situations that bring together people from different households at the same time in a single space or place. When people from different households mix, this increases the risk of transmission of COVID-19,” the CDPH said in a statement.
All gatherings must include no more than three households, including hosts and guests, and must be held outdoors, lasting for two hours of less.
Masks must stay on after eating and drinking
Singing and shouting “strongly discouraged” “do so quietly (at or below the volume of a normal speaking voice),” and wear a face covering while engaged in the activity
“Seating must provide at least 6 feet of distance
Coming to all of America, not just Californicator land, if the ChiCom’s Joe Dementia is elected and makes sure we wear masks 24/7.
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