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Biden Regrets Supporting Muting Microphones [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 October 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/24/2020 1:48:28 AM PDT by John Semmens

Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden expressed his regret that "the muting of the microphones at the debate didn't go as I thought it would. Before the debate I thought it was a good idea. Giving the moderator the opportunity to cut off my mic when I started to wander off topic could save me from embarrassing myself. It was only later that I realized that Kristen wasn't doing this. She was focused on muting Trump's mic. This saved him from making a fool of himself, but left me dangling in the wind."

"My people are now telling me that I said some dumb things," Biden admitted. "They counted eight times when I used the phrase 'pay the price.' They say this reminds voters of the deals Hunter was making in China on my behalf. Not good. I also apparently promised to eliminate the oil industry and predicted a dark future for America. It seems I really could have benefited from some timely muting of my mic, but Kristen let me down."

A contrite Kristen Welker apologized for "misunderstanding my role. I was concentrating on drowning out Trump's hateful rhetoric. I thought that was what we all agreed on before the debate. At least, that's what Joe's people told me my job was. Judging from all the praise I got from virtually all media outlets after the debate I imagined I had handled things well. If I wasn't, why couldn't Joe have used the same code words 'my time is up' that he used when he recognized he was lost in the Democratic debates? Then I could've cut his mic without fear of being blamed later for interrupting what he was saying."

In related news, Twitter and Facebook have censored the Trump campaign 65 times compared to censoring the Biden campaign zero times during the time both have been running. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey maintains that "we are only trying to level the playing field. Joe Biden is obviously mental impaired. If we were to take a hands-off approach or to equally censor both campaigns Biden would be at a tremendous disadvantage. The election would be no contest. That would be boring. So we did what they do in handicap horse races and gave the Trump team a heavier load to carry. This way Biden can stay in the race and maybe win it. Anyway, since most of the twits using our platform want Biden to win it's also good for business."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,417963.new.html#new


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: biden; censorship; debate; microphones; satire; trump

1 posted on 10/24/2020 1:48:28 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 10/24/2020 1:50:55 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Sweet, and right on.
3 posted on 10/24/2020 5:31:35 AM PDT by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: John Semmens

The scenario about welker is probably close to the truth. She didn’t shout down Pres. Trump and is getting blowback.


4 posted on 10/24/2020 7:07:08 AM PDT by dynachrome (The panic will end, the tyranny will not)
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To: John Semmens

The biatch set me up!


5 posted on 10/24/2020 1:15:25 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? -Homer Simpson)
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To: John Semmens

LOL


6 posted on 10/24/2020 10:49:29 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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