Harris Re-Imagines Public Safety [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 27 September 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Sen. Kamala Harris (Calif) contends that "the idea that calling on police to keep our communities safe is necessary or proper is out-dated. It is founded on the idea that force must be met by counter-force to keep criminals from victimizing the innocent. If we use a more progressive way of thinking the first thing we realize is that no one is innocent. A person who appears to be the victim of a criminal may have had ancestors who committed crimes against the ancestors of today's apparent criminal. What Republicans call a crime may be just retribution for the earlier transgression."

"I my mind, the majority of the violence in encounters with so-called criminals arises when the so-called victim resists just retribution," Harris said. "Who's to say that the money demanded isn't more rightfully the property of the person making the request? Who's to say that the sex sought by the so-called rapist isn't fully deserved? Once we open our minds to these and similar possibilities we can understand that there may be better ways to achieve public safety than having police intervene."

"In a Harris-Biden Administration our focus will be directed toward mediation of disagreements that are currently categorized as 'crimes,'" the Candidate promised. "Persons currently stigmatized as 'criminals' for demanding something that the so-called victim would rather not provide will be rescued and uplifted by our Administration in much the same way that persons who disdained to be self-supporting were succored by President Johnson's Great Society program that provided government housing, food stamps, and cash income. Once the segment of society that now has to take independent action to get what they want knows that the government is on their side their need to prey directly on others will subside."

A possible preview of a re-imagined public safety paradigm is being tried out in Seattle where the City is paying former pimp Andrè Taylor $150,000 a year to work as a "street czar" and come up with alternatives to relying on police to keep order. Taylor says his "past experiences dealing with lawbreakers make me the perfect guy to negotiate a truce among the gangs. I figure if we give each gang a fair share of the action most of the bloodshed can be eliminated. The cops could never accomplish this."

Meanwhile, New York Attorney General Letitia James (D) has a plan for reducing the violent confrontations between cops and criminals that often leads to someone getting killed. "It seems to me that if we eliminate traffic stops the killings will also stop," James observed. "Basically, once a suspect is in his car, the cops should let him get away. This would end deadly car chases and avoid the shootouts that often occur once the suspect's car is caught or disabled." James says that "we should rely more on social pressure and guilty consciences to persuade suspects to give themselves up in a peaceable manner."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=415476.0

[Mark]

Willie Brown thinking, “Crazy Biatch!”

[chuckee]

Democrats were all parroting the same silly “reimagining
law enforcement” sloganeering crap 2 months ago. Now that they have hit the reality stone wall of spiraling crime, Harris won’t be using the reimagining crap anymore as the Dems find that garbage is no longer polling well.