Posted on 07/13/2020 5:15:19 PM PDT by DFG
Amid calls for justice, NFL teams are taking bold steps to change their team names and end racism. This has caused controversy since everyone is racist. Are you confused? Never fear! We at The Babylon Bee are here to educate you. We believe that all 32 teams were built by a system of whiteness that must be dismantled, one team name at a time.
We MUST do better. Here is why every NFL team name is very problematic:
Arizona Cardinals - Too religious.
Atlanta Falcons - Celebrates one of the cheapest Smash Bros. characters, who is a smug little punk only jerks choose.
Baltimore Ravens - Named after the Disney Channel show That's So Raven without the POC protagonist's permission.
Buffalo Bills - Bills are an evil byproduct of capitalism.
Nice try, but we’ve already been taught that math is racist. I’m triggered now. Off to my safe space.
They should change the names of every team to “Kneelers” and differentiate them only by the cities they pretend to represent.
Missed an obvious chance.
Buffalo Bills: evil man representative of exploitation of the natives and the theft of their land
Rush Limbaugh started this with his Environmentalist Whacko Football picks.
To make things even simpler have each team use the city area code. :)
Rename the Redskins the Opossums.
They play dead at home, get killed on the road, and the “O” is always silent.
LOL
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