Posted on 04/27/2020 3:27:22 PM PDT by John Semmens
Under the direction of Mayor Lori Lightfoot, Chicago—gun homicide capital of the United States—has begun reclassifying incidents in which a murder victim was shot from a distance of six feet or more as COVID-19 fatalities.
"Since the shooters in these cases are observing the social distancing rules—we determined that COVID-19 guidelines were the key contributing factor in these deaths," the Mayor explained. "By reclassifying these deaths, the City will receive payments from the federal government that would not be available if the deaths were allowed to be officially attributed to a non-COVID-19 cause."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,399588.new.html#new
Funny, but... Don’t give them ideas!
What they died of lead poisoning?
This doesn’t need a satire tag. I’m betting it’s already the truth!
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