L.A. Reiterates Intent to Keep People Inside [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 26 April 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Disturbed that people will take the recently announced findings that sunlight kills the COVID-19 virus in a matter of minutes as "an excuse to violate Gov. Newsom's stay-at-home order," Los Angeles Police Department Chief Michel Moore reminded that "we are still chasing folks off the beaches and hiking trails."

"Not everyone is physically able to hike on the trails or on the beaches," Moore pointed out. "To allow those who can would give them an unfair advantage over those who can't. The Governor says it is important that we all stay on the same page in the fight against the virus. So, until everyone can go outside, no one will be permitted to go outside unless they are essential workers or have prior permission from the government that they may be outside their residence."

Moore urged "those itching to go outdoors" to "wait until the 200 million masks that the Governor has ordered from China have arrived and can be distributed. That way they can stay within the guidelines and won't have to worry about being arrested."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,399588.0.html

[dynachrome]

“200 million masks” “itching to go outdoors”

You’ll probably be itching from those ‘quality’ masks.

;)

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

I wonder when Gov. Newsom is going to issue and order prohibiting Californians from leaving the state, “for their own protection”, since other states have coronavirus as well.