Study Contradicts COVID-19 Media Narrative [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 March 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Despite a cacophony of criticisms directed at President Trump's handling of the COVID pandemic claiming it was too hasty, it's too sluggish, it's anti-science, and racist, a study by the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security (JHCHS) published in late 2019 found that the United States was more prepared for a pandemic than any other country in the world.

MSNBC anchor Andrea Mitchell dismissed the Study's findings, calling them "myopic in scope. The preparedness index was narrowly focused on medical issues like quantities of hospitals, doctors, equipment and medicines. It totally overlooked the political downside of generating a favorable image of Trump among voters. Everyday, Trump appears on TV giving updates on the status of the disease and the progress his team is making to overcome it. Meanwhile, Vice-President Biden pointed out that even if the US was the best prepared we still were only 87% ready. Trump's failure to get us 100% ready shows his incompetence. Biden's hard-hitting assessment has been mostly ignored. I fear that the lesser danger of the virus is laying the groundwork for the greater danger of Trump's reelection."

It's not that Biden hasn't been trying to garner more attention. His intended "shadow" briefings on the pandemic have not gone particularly well, what with the gaffes and technical mishaps marring his presentation. His virtual "happy hour" had an average viewership of less than 3,000 for the full length of the sixty-minute program.

Then, too, there is the accusation made by former staffer Tara Reade that he reached inside her skirt and fondled her back in 1993. Biden called Reade's accusation "cruel and insensitive. It was an honest mistake. I thought I was reaching under my kilt to scratch myself, groping around trying to find my Johnson before I remembered I wasn't wearing a kilt that day. If Tara's plaid skirt hadn't looked so much like the Biden Clan plaid I don't think I would've mistaken it for my kilt. So, it's partly her fault."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/279682-2020-03-28-semi-news-semi-satire-march-29-2020-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[1raider1]

You really outdid yourself today. Bravo.

[sima_yi]

Great one, John. Got me to laughing!

[Seaplaner]

The current medical crisis is giving us the opportunity to carry out a real-life experiment that will prove the truth of what I'm saying and the Democratic Party has been working to achieve since the days of FDR. The myth of capitalism is that wealth must be created by arduous effort under the guidance of investors and management. The steps that have been taken by many governors to confine people to their homes combined with the trillion dollar aid package Congress just passed will once-and-for-all show voters that the progressive model for running the country—living and thriving without toil—will restore humanity to the Garden of Eden that God intended for all of us."

There's a kernel of satire in this truth ?

Thanks, John, for another fine column.

Stay well!