Skip to comments.Coronavirus Prompts Revised Transit Policies [semi-satire]
Posted on 03/24/2020 10:23:07 AM PDT by John Semmens
In a bid to protect citizens from undue exposure to the coronavirus, the Madison, Wisconsin Metro Transit system has issued new guidelines for bus operations. Starting this week, Metro Transit will limit the number of persons allowed on a bus to one at a time.
Mayor Satya Rhodes-Conway pointed out that since each bus requires a driver, no passengers will be allowed on board as long as the driver is behind the wheel. We recognize that ordinarily this would present a hardship for those who depend on public transit to get around the City. To mitigate the hardship on riders, I have ordered all residents to shelter-in-place where they live.
To boost community morale, the buses will continue to travel their usual routes, the Mayor added. That way when people look out their windows theyll still see the buses running and be comforted. The drivers will still have jobs and the paychecks that go with those jobs. This will partially offset the economic losses of the businesses I have ordered to close and the employees who will be out of work.
Anti-civic naysayers will say that these new policies are senseless, but I challenge them to offer any better ideas they may have for coping with the unprecedented conditions I am faced with, she concluded.
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I have two letters of transit signed by General DeGaulle himself. Cannot be rescinded. Cannot even be questioned.
Can’t be satire, since this is obviously standard issue liberal “logic”.
And yes, liberal logic is the mother of all oxymorons.
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