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German Army to Fight Coronavirus [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 March 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/21/2020 12:46:37 AM PDT by John Semmens

Anxious to recapture "the patriotic solidarity of the German people during World War II," Chancellor Angela Merkel is calling on the Army "to smash the virus like we smashed Poland in 1939."

The Chancellor was unable to lay out any specific actions the Army would take other than to suggest "it would definitely be a rapid, blitzkrieg type of approach. If we can inspire the same kind of fanaticism among the troops that enabled us to conquer Poland in less than six weeks, I'm confident that we can conquer the coronavirus in short order. And this time we will not repeat the errors that Chancellor Hitler made by attacking Russia and declaring war on the United States."

Meanwhile in the United States, actor Sean Penn advised "the US Army to overthrow the inept Trump regime and install a military government that will take the stern measures needed to combat the coronavirus. We need total obedience from everyone, internment camps for dangerous deviants, and summary executions for those who resist authority. That's what my friend Hugo Chavez did to set Venezuela on the right track before he died."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/279115-2020-03-21-semi-news-semi-satire-march-22-2020-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; History; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: army; coronavirus; germany; satire

1 posted on 03/21/2020 12:46:37 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/21/2020 12:48:49 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

DUDE!, you can’t say that !!
(


3 posted on 03/21/2020 1:12:01 AM PDT by A strike (" Was that wrong? Should I not have done this? " - Costanza)
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To: John Semmens

That’s pretty good.


4 posted on 03/21/2020 1:27:31 AM PDT by OKSooner (Tulsi is being pimped by the DNC and FOX as Joe's running mate. You heard it here first, 3-16-2020.)
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To: John Semmens

The masses need satire at this time, and you step up to the plate and knock it out of the park!!!!


5 posted on 03/21/2020 3:47:15 AM PDT by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: John Semmens

Good one!


6 posted on 03/21/2020 6:04:52 AM PDT by dynachrome (The panic will end, the tyranny will not)
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To: John Semmens

Outstanding, John, just outstanding!


7 posted on 03/21/2020 7:21:30 AM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: John Semmens
Yeah, every few decades, some of my kin folk over there get a hair up their ass and decide to go shoot at trees or something. Now they wanna throw on the flecktarn and goose-step around with 30 round mags of hollow point Purell.

Morning, John.

8 posted on 03/21/2020 7:40:26 AM PDT by Viking2002 (Buck-buck-buck-buuuuuck....Chicken-mannnn! (He's everywhere! He's everywhere!)
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To: John Semmens

I would suggest not engaging the Italians...


9 posted on 03/21/2020 3:22:47 PM PDT by rockrr ( Everything is different now...)
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