“It were better that you went straight from victim into Christianity.”
______________________________________________
You would be correct on that point.
The human mind and soul doesn’t always work that way, though, does it?
I found out what I became was often what sexual victims would become; a way of ‘recovering themselves’ so I’m told. The sexually abused falsely/mistakenly believe that they are the ones controlling their body at that point, not some other family member or stranger or family friend. All that does, though, is bury the pain with no healing possible at that time.
That’s why sexually abused folks, young and old, need to get assistance so quickly after the abuse has been discovered.
That said, there are lessons that I take to heart, moments where I know the Lord God spared my life. Gifts of sunrises and sunsets where I didn’t earn them, only given to be by the grace of the Lord God.
I can look back on specific days and events and with a breath’s intake marvel at the Lord God’s grace, if not for my soul, for the souls and lives of those with me at those times.
The shame Satan throws at me at the moments least expected about my life gives me pause to rejoice in the everlasting love and forgiveness of the Lord God through Jesus.
I’ll stop rambling, now. :)
And yes, it's true, about "thinking *they're* in charge" ; one may see, fairly often, a similar thing with a woman who persuades herself that a bad-boy she tingles for, "he just needs a good woman's love" etc. : when he (inevitably) breaks up, because he was just using her, she will
a) cut her hair short
and then
b) either swear off ALL men
or
c) go a little c*ck-crazy.