Posted on 09/10/2019 10:14:35 AM PDT by John Semmens
Lawyers for "Empire" actor Jussie Smollett seek to avoid him paying for the $130,000 cost of investigating his claim that he was attacked by racists wearing "Make America Great Again" hats, by asserting that "it was the police's fault for taking him serious."
"Jussie's story was so implausible that only an idiot wouldn't have realized that it was bogus," claimed Abe Aweasel, Smollett's lead attorney. "The alleged after midnight assault on one of the coldest nights of the year by two white men in a black neighborhood was risible on its face. Add to this the fact that Jussie was unharmed and his Subway sandwich fully intact and it is clear that no investigation should've been undertaken."
"The 1800 hours of police work that ensued was an incompetent waste of city resources," Aweasel pointed out. "The attempt to collect the cost of this incompetence from our client is, itself, a racist assault on this troubled young man. The damage to his acting career from the revelation that the assault was a hoax will cost our client millions of dollars in future earnings. Mr. Smollett is the aggrieved party here and a counter suit to recover these lost earnings is fully warranted."
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot is expected to drop demands for compensation from Smollett on the grounds that "as a gay black man Jussie has already suffered enough from the poisonous racism and homophobia he has had to face all his life. In my review of the facts of the case I have to say that the humongous police effort on this case was not warranted. While they may have bent over backward to try to placate his initial accusation, simple common sense should have dissuaded them from doing any more than taking down his incoherent statement and putting it in the file."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,374608.0.html
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.