Posted on 09/08/2019 10:49:09 AM PDT by John Semmens
Democratic presidential candidate Marianne Williamson took credit for enabling the United States to avoid the type of destruction Hurricane Dorian wreaked on the Bahamas.
“While others have been quick to dismiss my campaign based on the power of love, it should be clear by now that I am the one candidate who is on the right track for healing this country,” Williamson boasted. “A few days ago I called for all those who love America to concentrate their thoughts on diverting Dorian from damaging the United States. While we were not completely successful, I am pleased to note that both the path of the storm and its intensity were dramatically altered by our efforts.”
The candidate contrasted the fate of the Bahamas, where 75% of the homes were submerged by the hurricane’s sea surge, to the much milder impacts observed on the United States’ east coast. “I regret that my brain power wasn’t able to save the Bahamas,” she said. “We probably could have done better if I were already the US president. I could have used the ‘bully pulpit’ of the presidency to recruit more people to focus their minds on abating the hurricane at an earlier stage and saved many more lives.”
Williamson compared “my unquestionably positive approach with Sen. Sanders’ crusty chastisement of people who live near the ocean, calling them ‘the architects of their own fate.’ Well, no one should be forced to be the architect of their own fate. All humanity needs to act as a single unit to guide everyone to the happiness promised all by the Declaration of Independence.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2019/09/07/cnn-climate-debate-publicizes-democrats-dictatorial-impulses/
Nothing works as well as sitting on your ass and doing nothing. I’m gonna have to try that!
I’m surprised that Al Gore hasn’t jumped in and taken credit for the hurricane turning.
You can’t argue with success.
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