Crime is a band
“San Francisco Redefines Crime [semi-satire]”
A lot of big cities are now doing this. This happened in Dallas this summer. Redefining theft (less than $750 no longer a crime), drug possession (”After the first offense, people will be offered a program that, if successfully completed, will keep their record clear. I am also in the process of dismissing all pending misdemeanor marijuana cases filed before I took office, according to the new policy stated above).
Then they wonder why the crime rate skyrockets.
They just need to find something to fit with the euphemism “Fine Young Cannibals”. Or “10,000 Maniacs”.
Those who defecate in public streets will be known as “Free-lance Fertilizer Spreaders”.