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Dems Demand Copy of Unredacted Mueller Report [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/04/2019 11:52:48 AM PDT by John Semmens

Despite the fact that the copy of the Special Counsel’s released to the public shows less than 10 percent was redacted and despite the fact that a completely unredacted copy is available for key members of Congress to read (an opportunity no Democrat has yet to seize), Rep. Jerrold Nadler, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, demanded that Attorney General Barr turnover a completely unredacted copy or join him in petitioning the courts to void the law prohibiting grand jury testimony and classified information from being published.

“Speaker Pelosi has already publicly characterized Barr as immoral, unethical, corrupt and unpatriotic,” Nadler pointed out. “If Barr wants this vilification to stop he will need to accede to our demands. Just because Special Counsel Mueller declined to press charges against many of those who testified in his grand jury proceedings doesn’t mean they should get off scot-free. Everyone knows that Trump and his minions represent the dregs of humanity. Anything we can do to make this clear to the American public is vital to the survival of our democracy. Having the means to publicize selectively edited excerpts from the redacted portions of the report is essential to this effort’s success.”

Sen. Dick Durbin seconded Nadler’s remarks and added a demand that Barr “recuse himself from any further involvement connected with any investigations of the heroic government officials who have been covertly working to reverse the monumental error of electing Donald Trump president. He should follow the example set by his predecessor Jeff Sessions, who correctly stepped aside to allow the intelligence community to continue their efforts to save the country from this tyrant. There is no good reason why these patriots should have their livelihoods endangered and their reputations smeared for doing the right thing.”

Barr rejected these demands, pointing out that “my predecessor’s dereliction of duty is not an appropriate model for how an Attorney General should proceed. Whether those who spied on and conspired against candidate, and later president, Trump, thought they were doing the right thing shouldn’t shield them from the consequences of doing illegal things. We will continue to investigate, and if we find evidence that supports the prosecution of any of the individuals involved, those prosecutions will go forward.”

A most disconcerting development for the Democrats was the release of CNN poll results indicating that nearly 70% of respondents favor the investigation being carried out by the Department of Justice. Even worse, 76% of Democrats surveyed endorse this investigation. CNN talking head Chris Cuomo pronounced himself “gobsmacked by these results. This is contrary to everything I believe should have happened based on our reporting. How could our audience have gone so far off the rails?”

Meanwhile, Late Show host Steven Colbert expressed a desire to “wring the neck” of Barr, citing “the Constitution’s unalienable right of the people to abolish the government and institute a new government more to our liking” as a justification. “Trump and his henchmen are on the verge of undoing the legacy left us by President Obama,” he said. “Surely, this warrants the same sort of extreme action taken by the Founding Fathers to end the tyranny they faced in 1776.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2019/05/04/dems-demand-copy-of-unredacted-mueller-report/


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; investigations; satire; trump

1 posted on 05/04/2019 11:52:48 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
THE MONEY EXCERPT---"A most disconcerting development for the Democrats is CNN poll results indicating that nearly 70% favor the DOJ investigation. Even worse, 76% of Democrats surveyed endorse this investigation. CNN talking head Chris Cuomo pronounced himself “gobsmacked by these results. This is contrary to everything I believe should have happened based on our reporting. How could our audience have gone so far off the rails?”

BOL-----nice going.

2 posted on 05/04/2019 11:56:22 AM PDT by Liz ( Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use.)
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To: John Semmens

Yeah — I see the article is a satire.
(Having recognized that-—)

It’s subtle, but it seems the Left uses the phrase “our democracy” very frequently now. Others use it too, to be sure; but that particular phrase is VERY popular among leftists —

...and I’m reminded of the line from “Princess Bride,” where the guy says, “I do not think that word means what you think it means, senior!”

Leftists NEVER say, “our republic —”


3 posted on 05/04/2019 12:15:16 PM PDT by William of Barsoom (In Omnia, Paratus)
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To: John Semmens

Rush was quoting a Republican congressman who stated that there is an unredacted copy available to every congressman to read in the HoR’s SCIF. He said that only he and one other Republican has gone in and read it. He stated that NO Dem congressmen/women have taken the time to read it. Thus the Dim’s demand for being given access to an unredacted copy is a total false, they have it.


4 posted on 05/04/2019 12:19:58 PM PDT by GreyFriar (Spearhead - 3rd Armored Division 75-78 & 83-87)
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To: GreyFriar

Good point....I heard Rush say that, too.

The democraps are just trying to score political points with their lies.

As usual.


5 posted on 05/04/2019 12:58:39 PM PDT by july4thfreedomfoundation (President Trump is right! The media IS the enemy of the people!)
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To: John Semmens

Nadler and Pelousy and a number of top Dems are becoming increasingly irrational, strident, and irrelevant. Much of their blathering is simply Looney hot air.


6 posted on 05/04/2019 2:23:18 PM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: GreyFriar

I think the problem for the access provided to the Dems is that their brains can’t handle the content without help. Thus, they need to have copies to distribute to their media confederates who can gin up the proper propaganda line from the document for them.


7 posted on 05/04/2019 2:28:53 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
✋🏼🦄🖐🏻💩
8 posted on 05/04/2019 3:00:44 PM PDT by rktman ( #My2ndAmend! ----- Enlisted in the Navy in '67 to protect folks rights to strip my rights. WTH?)
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To: GreyFriar

Actually only available to 6 Dems and 6 Repubs. Nadler offered Barr counteroffer- to which he wants Barr to release the un-redacted report to all of Congress and their staff.

It is illegal as Barr stated to media, to members of Congress, he can’t release un-redacted report without court order as it has grand jury info, witnesses, etc.

So they are requesting Barr break the law.

I am really worried about Barr and what they are going to do to him. They are so out of control and evil they will have him arrested for the optics.


9 posted on 05/04/2019 3:22:28 PM PDT by Engedi (ui)
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To: John Semmens

And if they got that, they would then demand the names and the biography of everyone who help type up the report.


10 posted on 05/04/2019 4:24:08 PM PDT by antidemoncrat
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