Posted on 04/28/2019 12:16:07 PM PDT by John Semmens
Fearful that today's modern lifestyle places too much burden on the Earth's environment, Mayor Bill deBlasio is spearheading what he terms an aggressive "advance to the past" policy. The approach is two-pronged. Key areas for reform are to include housing and diet.
On the housing front, the Mayor pledges to ban high-rise buildings. "Skyscrapers are inefficient and contribute to global warming," he asserted. "If we look at the cost per square foot they are much more expensive than single-story buildings. So, clearly we need to go back to living closer to the ground."
"As an initial step, we will be rezoning the bulk of the City to encourage more Earth-friendly forms of construction," deBlasio said. "Instead of steel and concrete we will be favoring 'daub and wattle' or adobe brick construction. These more natural building materials don't require blast furnaces to produce. Ordinary people can harvest the mud from the waterways surrounding much of the City and carry out the actual construction themselves."
On the diet front, the Mayor aims to eliminate the hot dog from New Yorkers' menus. "We all know that processed meats are unhealthy," deBlasio pointed out. "Why should we allow people to eat them if we have the power to prevent it? A healthier and more environmentally beneficial alternative would be for the daub and wattle dwellers to catch and eat the millions of rats that infest our town. They'd be simultaneously exterminating a pest and enjoying the advantages of consuming an organically raised source of protein."
"To help popularize this intended dietary change, the annual Nathan's hot dog-eating contest could be replaced by a rat-eating contest," the Mayor suggested. "In many parts of the world rodents are a part of the normal food intake. I'm sure there are many tasty ways of preparing this food."
Critics have argued that rats consume a lot of insects and garbage. DeBlasio was undeterred by this possibility. "People could eat the insects and a lot of the so-called garbage could be recycled for human consumption, just like in Venezuela" he imagined. "We can't allow squeamishness to divert us from undertaking actions needed to save the planet from global warming."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2019/04/27/brennan-defends-conspiracy-against-trump/
The main problem with this article is that it provides Blasio with new ideas to implement, that he might have not otherwise have thought up on his own.
I wonder if deBLowsthehole realizes when he leave office he will abide under the same rules...oh wait, he is part of the elites and those rules only apply to us smelly Walmart shoppers.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.