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Testicular Bill of Rights Proposed in Georgia [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 March 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/18/2019 6:08:08 AM PDT by John Semmens

Angered that the legislature passed a law protecting the unborn from being killed once a heartbeat is detected, Rep. Dar’shun Kendrick (D-Lithonia) has introduced a bill she calls a “Testicular Bill of Rights.”

“This will level the playing field by establishing the same kind of regulations infringing upon men’s bodies that Republicans have imposed on women’s bodies,” Kendrick contends. The provisions of her bill include: (1) require men to have their partner’s permission before an erectile dysfunction medication can be prescribed; (2) ban vasectomies and punish doctors who perform them; (3) punish men who have sex without a condom; (4) require men to start paying child support when their partners are six-week pregnant; and (5) a 24-hour waiting period for men to acquire porn or sex toys.

While critics see more spite than genuine health issues as the driving motivation behind her bill, Kendrick pointed out that “an abortion kills only one person, but every ejaculation kills millions of potential persons. Laws that focus exclusively on preventing a mother from killing her own baby are unfairly singling out females whose lesser crime pales compared to the mass murders routinely committed by men. It’s not as if the fate of every man is not in his own hands. If he always wears a condom the chance he will impregnate any woman is nil. So, any man who religiously obeys section three of my law should be relatively safe from prosecution.”

Fellow abortion fanatic Rep. Park Cannon (D-Atlanta) favors a simpler approach and has offered an amendment “that would strike all the complicated provisions of Kendrick’s bill and replace them with a single requirement mandating that men turn themselves into the police whenever they release sperm from their testicles.”

Former Democratic candidate for Georgia governor Stacy Abrams said she “sympathized with Rep. Kendrick’s frustration,” but characterized her proposed bill “a joke.” Instead, she blamed corporations for not stopping the heartbeat bill from becoming law. “The majority of abortions are performed on poor women,” she pointed out. “Preventing these abortions means more mouths to feed and drives up the cost of welfare benefits. I would’ve thought that businesses would have opposed the new law on fiscal grounds. The few thousands they could’ve paid to sway the votes needed to kill the bill will now be outweighed by the millions in higher taxes needed to support these unwanted children.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2019/03/16/admitted-thief-throws-hat-in-race-for-dem-presidential-nomination/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: abortion; democrats; satire

1 posted on 03/18/2019 6:08:08 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

No need to look for her political affiliation or race...

Good one but don’t give her or any of her ilk ideas...


2 posted on 03/18/2019 6:55:23 AM PDT by Thank You Rush
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