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Job Posting for Night Shift Hand Puppet Assembler
Internet Job Site | 11/02/2018 | unknown

Posted on 11/01/2018 10:25:51 PM PDT by waterhill

Looking for experienced hand puppet assemblers to work second shift and just hammer out hand puppets.

Requirements:

an eye for the right dirty old sock to work with. not all socks make a good puppet. on point with a glue gun. not tempted to eat or play with the glue solid skills in gluing the eyes on the sock so they don't scare children strong mouth drawing skills. rapid pace. We pay piece rate on some really solid sock puppets quality control is done with dice. You only get paid on the sock puppets that are on the table when the QC guy rolls a 6 or higher. Anything else is scrapped. The cost of the scrapped materials comes out of your check. Hours:

Pretty random. We will call with about an hour's notice and say you need to be here "now". You might work 30 minutes or 24 hours straight. Who knows. For those of you who rarely show up on time or forget to come to work regularly, it might work out. Environment:

Drug free. If sock puppets don't bring you joy, nothing else will. You might as well quit the drugs. We don't really have any room in the building, so we have "puppet makers" work outside in grassy area behind the building. It is your responsibility to keep the puppet making materials dry and stay productive, even if it rains. Management:

We manage mostly through screaming. "What is your problem?," "What were you thinking?," "Did mommy drop you on your head?" are common motivational directives. All in all a solid opportunity.

Job Type: Full-time

Experience:

sock puppet: 1 year (Preferred)


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Computers/Internet; Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: deception; sockpuppets
I know people who work here and it is a really good local company (I left the name out intentionally). I have not been able to contact the people I know there.

I know what a 'sock puppet' is in the internet sense/definition, and in this situation, this appears to be a fraud posting for a well-respected company. I know the owner has a sense of humor, but I don't see him authorizing this.

Although seriously funny, does not this amount to plain fraud?

Again, I cannot believe that the HR of this particular company authorized this.

Thoughts?

1 posted on 11/01/2018 10:25:51 PM PDT by waterhill
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To: waterhill

2 posted on 11/01/2018 10:30:58 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: waterhill

Upon further investigation, the CEO’s name is on the job site email. I know it costs money to post on job boards, and surely there is some vetting to be done in the process.

They have not posted any jobs in a while or I would have been on it to get away from where I am now (that’s how spectacular the current job is, I am at work now... looking at job boards, ha).

Anyways, I am half-tempted since I do keep a resume on said job board......

Thoughts?


3 posted on 11/01/2018 10:37:53 PM PDT by waterhill (I Shall Remain, in spite of __________.)
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To: waterhill

I really like “quality control is done with dice.” Surely this is translated from Spanish and they only exploit illegal alien labor this way.


4 posted on 11/01/2018 10:44:39 PM PDT by Wilhelm Tell (True or False? This is not a tag line.)
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To: waterhill

Sounds like an ad for journalism school.


5 posted on 11/01/2018 10:49:28 PM PDT by noiseman (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.`)
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To: waterhill

Q: What do you get when you stick a stone in the mouth of an old Raggedy Ann doll?

A: A dirty old cotton rocksucker.


6 posted on 11/01/2018 10:59:03 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: waterhill
We manage mostly through screaming. "What is your problem?," "What were you thinking?," "Did mommy drop you on your head?" are common motivational directives.

I worked there!! My first boss was so fat he couldn't pick up a cigarette he dropped. In fact, he couldn't even see it if it wasn't two feet beyond his toes. "Boy! Pick up that cigarette for me." I was 16 at the time and got my first lesson in "management." He owned the company, so there wasn't much I could do.

7 posted on 11/01/2018 10:59:33 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: waterhill

Get Mick Foley.


8 posted on 11/01/2018 11:13:38 PM PDT by mindburglar (I like spelling it Lazers. It looks cooler.)
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To: ProtectOurFreedom
I worked there!! My first boss was so fat he couldn't pick up a cigarette he dropped.

My first (real job) boss after my farm work kept his cigarette clamped in his mouth as he worked the grill at the local Country Kitchen diner. I was 14 or 15.

I was the new dishwasher.

He was a chain smoker who kept the thing in his lips until the ash grew so long it fell off. Never used an ashtray, it just fell onto the flattop grill.

Didn't matter. He was distracted from his ashes by swatting flies around the flattop and letting them fall.

I lasted the first day, and part of the second, and I quit. Hard to work at a place where I wouldn't ever eat again.

Thankfully the place closed down about three months later after being in business for about three months. Go figure.

9 posted on 11/01/2018 11:51:21 PM PDT by KitJ (Shall not be infringed...)
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To: waterhill

Can I send you a resume?


10 posted on 11/02/2018 2:24:47 AM PDT by EEGator
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To: waterhill

11 posted on 11/02/2018 2:32:07 AM PDT by Doogle (( USAF.68-73....8th TFW Ubon Thailand....never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: waterhill
My about page mind was lost in a tragic canoe accident.....

There. Fixed it.

12 posted on 11/02/2018 2:38:31 AM PDT by 4Runner
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To: waterhill

Somewhere in here is a joke that I’m not getting.


13 posted on 11/02/2018 3:50:40 AM PDT by Fhios
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To: waterhill

No glue eating. Trump’s senior policy adviser Stephen Miller need not apply.


14 posted on 11/02/2018 4:21:30 AM PDT by bgill (CDC site, "We don't know. how people are infected with Ebola.")
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To: KitJ

My first real job was doing janitorial work at a racquetball club. It was a pretty fun job and I worked there a couple years. The manager was a fat slob who couldn’t play racquetball if his life depended on it. He was a huge University of Michigan football fan, you know the type, everything they own is school colors, including office furnishings and his vehicle. He never attended the school. The closest he got was the stadium when he bought tickets.

I’m 16 years old and he calls me at 11pm, while I was at work. (illegal hours at 16) He wanted me to show up at a new club they were building at 7am, 50 miles away at my expense to clean up the jobsite. Since I wasn’t scheduled that day, I told him no because I had unbreakable plans. He fired me.


15 posted on 11/02/2018 7:20:20 AM PDT by cyclotic ( Democrats must be politically eviscerated, disemboweled and demolished.)
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