Posted on 10/24/2018 10:58:15 AM PDT by MeganC
About a year ago I saw a feminist program which talked about how virginity wasn't such a big deal and how girls should feel free to experience their sexuality so long as pills, creams, condoms, and legal consent forms were involved. Through the course of the program the act of sex was reduced to little more than a routine biological function akin to going to the bathroom or eating.
Ironically, as the program sought to warn girls about being objectified it also managed to reduce men into support systems for penises. And the sole purpose of the penis was clearly objectified as a sex toy for a woman's pleasure and nothing more.
I've had more than a year to dwell on this and today found myself compelled to write about it.
Let me start by saying that I have a number of female friends who I keep in touch with and the majority of them have had failed marriages and a series of failed relationships. These women (Republican and Democrat alike) espouse the standard modern opinions about how women are supposed to be leaders in the household, leaders at work, and leaders in society. Yet their lives are a shambles.
Now also let me note that I am not perfect. Nope. Not at all.
And when I share my perceptions about my own experiences and views of life please know that I came from the exact same background as my friends did. I too have harbored most of the same modern ideas of feminism as are common in our society these days.
Just to touch on a few of those ideas let me list some of them and in no particular order:
1. Sex is no big deal.
2. Women should not get married until after they turn thirty.
3. Women should experience sex with different men so they can be equal with men.
4. Pregnancy is a medical condition requiring treatment and it should be avoided by intelligent women.
5. If you do insist on having children then have just one.
6. Men should be submissive, nurturing, and physically weak.
7. A woman should have at least a Master's degree and should have a successful career before she might have a child at around age forty.
8. Being childless is socially progressive especially if you're an educated, professional, white woman.
9. Lesbianism is not just acceptable it is socially preferable in a growing segment of society.
10. Men oppress women by marrying them and forcing them to assume traditional gender roles.
Is that enough? I think so.
These are just a few examples of the anti-values that the broad spectrum of the left has so successfully foisted onto our society that many on the right now adhere to them as well.
And the result has been a society in which the broken home, the single mother, and the fatherless child are now seen as socially acceptable. Perhaps even socially applauded.
Yet when I look at my female friends who uphold these anti-values what I see are emotionally broken people. I see alcohol and drug abuse. I see angry women who think they were betrayed by the feminized men in their lives. I see women who have lived the feminist ideal and yet who end up feeling empty, unfulfilled, and absent of satisfaction in life.
And myself I think it all goes back to our views on virginity and the unintended consequences of birth control.
(Disclaimer: No, I am not a Catholic.)
To understand where we are on this subject we first need to understand where we came from as a society.
Prior to the advent of birth control a woman's virginity was very significant.
It mattered because when she would marry then on her wedding night there was the very real chance that she would become pregnant and bear a child for her husband.
Sex was not just a biological function it was a lifetime commitment and it came with some massive ramifications. It also meant that the woman was bonded to her husband because of their mutual decision to not just have a wedding and a wedding night, but to start a family and to commit to everything that is required to raising a family. Marriage and the act of sex were inseparable and anyone engaging in sex outside of marriage was properly seen as rash and irresponsible.
And a woman's virginity had VALUE.
It was a gift and not just of the woman's body but of her heart, her soul, and her life. When a woman gave her virginity to her husband she was saying to him that she would spend her life at his side and together they would face life's challenges for better or for worse.
Now remember I said I came from the same background as my friends?
Despite the social indoctrination I had received in my childhood I found myself at about age sixteen with a growing desire to be a wife and mother. College and career were held out to me as my only acceptable options yet something inside me was pulling me in a different direction.
My desires only grew stronger and even though I'd sometimes face rebuke from my friends for confessing my preference for domesticity over a career I wasn't deterred.
After I was eighteen I sought out and found what I wanted. He wanted a traditional wife and a large family and that was what I wanted, too. A short courtship led to a modest wedding attended only by a handful of my friends and even the friends who attended the wedding didn't approve.
That evening I found myself absolutely intimidated by the magnitude of what was about to happen. The very real possibility that I would be pregnant the next day was not lost on me and while I was thrilled to be with my husband I was also terrified of the awesome thing that was taking place.
It is now ten years since I first met my husband and in March it will be ten years since we wed. We have seven children and one more is on the way and should arrive in January.
(Oh, and did you recoil a little at reading that I will soon have eight children? That recoiling you felt was part of the feminist conditioning that you now accept as normal.)
After high school my friends mostly put off getting married until the last few years. Some of them haven't been married and may well live their lives single. Some of the women who got married have already been divorced.
Of the eight or nine girls I was close to in school I have more children now than all of them combined.
They have careers, they have college debts to pay off, only one of them is married and has purchased a home, none of them go to church on a regular basis, and I can't say that any of them has ever bragged to me about how happy they are. They also all gave away their most precious gift to someone who has now left their lives. Some of them did so in high school.
Sadly, I didn't give my husband my virginity on my wedding night. That was taken away from me and it wasn't my decision. But I did give him everything I had to give and he in turn has done the same for me.
There are no empty acts or promises between us.
Forgive me my imperfect end to this essay. There is no major point or takeaway that I'm trying to make here.
I'm just wanting to say that the feminist ideal has cheated women and it has lied to them by convincing them that one of the most special and treasured parts of being a woman is of no significance at all. It's not even noteworthy when it happens...no more so than when you first brush your teeth.
And I think we women have lost something in embracing feminist anti-values as normal.
Megan
Well stated, Megan!
Thank you Albion Wilde for your thoughtful response and good advice. May God bless you and your family, and this nation at this important time.
And also yours, SP02!
Make Believe It's Your First Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk3fExOEKdA
The Carpenters
We've tried our hand
At love before
We've been around the game enough
To know the score
But then is then
And now is now
And now is all that matters anyhow
Make believe it's your first time
Leave your sadness behind
Make believe it's your first time
And I'll make believe it's mine
The door is closed
It's you and me
We'll take our time with love
The way it oughta be
This moment's ours
Tonight's the night
And if we fall in love
Well, that's alright
Make believe it's your first time
Leave your sadness behind
Make believe it's your first time
And I'll make believe it's mine
So close your eyes
And hold me close
And let our hearts pretend
That love is ours to share tonight
And it might never end
Make believe it's your first time
Leave your sadness behind
Make believe it's your first time
And I'll make believe it's mine
Reddit: Join the 721 people in the r/Natalism community
That's what they tell you anyway. It may not be 100% lies, but its certainly mostly lies, justifications, or excuses.
No, actually ... I was thrilled. If Christendom is to be saved, women like you will be among the heroes of its salvation.
heh ... That's a HUGE major point you're making.
Nonsense! You gave up nothing. You changed careers ... for the better, IMO.
The idea that changing careers from some paying office job to wife/mother constitutes "giving up" something, or "settling" for something less is part of the feminist twaddle that has infested our society and degraded it.
You are right, I didn’t even realize that I let that creep into my mind.
Thanks:)
I love the vows my husband and I made to each other in our Catholic wedding 39 years ago: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” It’s just such a poetic way to state the obvious, IMHO.
“Great essay, Megan, and I agree with every word you wrote! I was surprised that you had 8 children, only because the last I heard, you only had 5, lol.”
Um...it is easy to get bored around Wyoming...especially in the winter!
(-:
I see you and I'd recommend you to so many - but my friends are married or not worthy of you.
I'll keep you in my prayers that you are blessed with a wife who sees your value and worth. But you are right - hedonism is celebrated and the repentance more than the one who has remained steadfast and faithful.
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