Skip to comments.(Satire) All-Purpose Democrat Last Minute Smear Form
Posted on 09/23/2018 8:28:36 PM PDT by grey_whiskers
____ 28, 201_
Senator _______ ___________
Dear Senator _________:
I am writing to you with information concerning the background of the current nominee to ____________. As I am a loyal Democrat, I trust that you will keep this confidential from Republicans, especially Senator _________, until we can spring this on them at the last minute with no chance for rebuttal or fact checking. Also, may I ask that our colleagues in the usual social media companies carefully scrub my posting history for the past ____ years.
________ physically __________ me and sexually __________ during ___________ in the time frame ______ to ______ on at least ___ occasion(s). These acts were performed in front of the following witnesses: ________, ________, _________, and ________ ; although I already stated I was too ________ (choose one) inebrieated / frightened / surprised / transported into ecstacy
to remember the details, such as the day and year, or even how many people were in the room, I am sure that ________, the current nominee to _______________, was the main perpetrator.
___________ pushed me onto ___________ where he proceeded to _______ and _________, and even _________ my _________ while the others (choose one) did nothing / took photos with their phones / joined in / pointed and laughed /
After a few minutes, __________, the current nominee to _______, stopped for a few moments to _________. The others in the room, who were not victims, but may have been perpetrators, depending on whether their memory contradicts mine, began to ask _________, the current nominee to to "Stop it already, can't you see ______ (choose one)" she's had enough / you've made your point / it's MY turn / it's almost midnight /
I don't know how I escaped, or how I made it home. It's all a blur. I was so ashamed, I didn't mention a word to any of my friends, to the police, or to my ________, until we were in marriage counseling decades later. And nobody in _______ ever talked about the incident, or gave me any funny nicknames either.
I waited until _________, ___ days before the formal Senate vote for confirmation of ___________ to ______, because I felt it my duty as a loyal Democrat to stand up against the patriarchy and for a woman's right to choose. Did I say patriarchy?
I am available to speak further to you about this should the derailment of the nomination of _________ to the ____________ be going badly for our party. Contact me through my local #MeToo local for information on any secret numbered bank accounts if you feel impelled by conscience to make a purely voluntary donation merely to show solidarity with the movement and without any hint of bribery, collusion, or conspiracy whatsoever.
Confidentially yours (Even though I will end up plastered all over the front page of every website in the Country)
______________ (choose one) New York / Massachusetts / Florida / California
Democrats taking a big dump on Republicans.
Are we sure this is satire????? (Sounds real to me.)
here’s the real ford in all her glory....
ONE YEAR LATER, this form is still usefel!!!!!
Confidentially yours (Even though I will end up plastered all over the front page of every website in the Country).
PS Could I please quote you in the three books publishers have agreed to pay me $63 million to write about those nasty Republicans.
PPS And would you be interested in appearing on my reality TV show?
PPS You might be contacted by Netflix b/c the kindly, compassionate Obamas are planning a docu/drama on my experiences at the hands of Republicans.
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