Posted on 02/27/2018 7:43:29 PM PST by cazmandeuce
Wow, my 25 year old boy called tonight to talk about asking his girlfriend to marry him. First, I had a feeling this conversation was coming based on what I could tell from what I saw from their relationship over the last year. They have been dating for over a year now, both in their PHD program, and I can tell they are soul mates. Oh my. Second, that's my first son. Is he ready.... My little buddy is thinking about such grown up stuff. Any parents going through the same stuff? Oh, they grow up so fast.......
“I’d love to. Whadaya want broken.”
I’m not in the mood for this right now. Get lost...
Yes, do tell.
No, but she likes to ride in his :)
Sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Your approval and apparently the entire family IS important. Horrible when one’s choice for a life partner doesn’t get along with in-laws.
And both being PhD candidates, should well be able to take care of themselves financially, and certainly to get there they have to have a good sense of self-discipline and maturity. So it’s all good.
Congratulations and best of luck to your son and his (sound like soon to be) fiancee!!
You’re the one that gives good advise,I see it here often-——but it’s disturbing to see people as angry as some posters are-——life is too short.
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What a beautiful thought.
Congratulations, you have a fine son.
Look at Robin Williams.
He said, paraphrasing as close as I remember, Being alone isn’t the worst thing. What’s worse is being around people and wishing you were alone.
Notice no one ever came up with any concrete arguments against my statements. Not even one upside explained for men. I will take some out right now.
‘COMPANIONSHIP.’ Dont need a wife for that, I have friends and family for that.
Kids. Women dont need a man for kids, given the epidemic of single moms. They can even go to sperm banks without anyone else being involved. Men have kids and are not married. Don’t need a wife for kids. Further each kid is 300,000 dollars that man must come up with to support. Child support orders are only enforced on men, almost never on women.
Regular sex. Sex goes down over time when married. Especially after kids. Men dont get married to stop having sex but that is what happens. Dont need a wife for sex.
Someone to talk to. Don’t need a wife for that.
Financial help. Women do not marry men who need financial help. Women do not marry someone that cannot take care of them, that isn’t a bigger earner or has the prospect of being a bigger earner. Given money is the number 1 reason for dvorce and over 70 of divorces are filed by women, you cannot ignore this fact.
Someone to be ‘best friends’ with. Really are you six? A best friend who you open up to, only to find that stuff used against you when they argue with you? A best friend who now finds all his stuff she doesnt like in the basement or tossed out. He pays for the house and gets the basement because its the only place in the house she hasnt decorate to her tastes. Tell me married gys abot allthe crap in your house you never picked out and would never be there if you were single. Think about the cost savings from not buying foody expensive crap.
Love? Its hormones and the short timespan of the romance period. Which goes away fast. Its why so many marriages, about 90% in the first ten years, fail.
Zero upsides. Come on tell me the upsides to it. Divorce rape? Kids taken away? Wife lying about abuse as leverage for kids and more money? Paying for a house you don’t live in anymore?
Sell me on mariage in America in the 21st century. I wanna hear it.
Congratulations! God bless them all.
Thank you, Edinva!
I base this on statistics and the experiences of many couples I personally know.
I honstly wish it wasn’t this way but it is and I live in reality. Divorce is a 60+ billon a year industry in the usa and it crushes an enormous number of perfectly fine men.
I know you are catching some heat, but I agree with you and I am a woman. There are some truly lousy women out there who will burn really great guys. I’ve seen it happen to some of my friends. On the flip side, there are some truly fine women who have been burned by lousy men. Me, I was lucky;25 years married and he is the only man in the world for me.
I have no proble m if he wants a relationship with her.
I am saying avoid marriage because dvorce rape is brutal on men and the family court - oxymoron - system is inherently negatively biased against men.
He doesnt need to get maried and its a one-sided contract ony enforced on the man.
Thank you, I think so too.
And if she doesn’t work and has a kid, he has her masive debt to pay off as well as his.
Its nt cynical, its a real risk. No business would sign up for such a risky deal. Yet we encourage a single guy to take this enormous risk on himself.
“. Its why so many marriages, about 90% in the first ten years, fail.”
Where did you get that figure?
My kids,and their friends,have all been married between 20 and 25 years.
The 90% failure rate makes no sense.
.
That is what drove Robin Williams to his suicide. His two ex wives had large alimony payments coming from him and the rest of his life was going to be working just to pay them.
Its a pretty reasonable guess given the percentages of people that go into debt for advanced degrees, that they are actually have lots of debt.
If it was fair for men there would be less negativity.
Why does everyone have to be in favor of geting married? Because you think so?
St Paul. It is better not to take a wife.
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