Evidence of Presidential Obstruction of Justice [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 Dec 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

According to a report published by Politico, former President Obama blocked the Drug Enforcement Agency's efforts to stop the Islamic terrorist group Hezbollah from developing a global narcotics syndicate. The nominal rationale for this intrusion to thwart a law enforcement operation was "to not upset delicate negotiations with Iran." Hezbollah is largely funded by the Iranian government.

Ben Rhodes, former Deputy National Security Adviser during the Obama Administration, characterized the revelation as "Monday-morning 'quarterbacking.' Are we supposed to be shocked that a president might place a higher priority on reaching a diplomatic agreement with another country ahead of a routine and less important criminal case? Is the relationship between Hezbollah and Iran really our concern? I mean, it's not as if a successful prosecution of Hezbollah's drug smuggling would have solved the drug problem in this country."

Trita Parsi, president of the National Iranian-American council, questioned "the presumed link between President Obama's quashing of the drug investigation and the negotiations with Iran. Just because the Iranian government funds Hezbollah doesn't mean that it could not be trusted to adhere to whatever agreement was worked out regarding its nuclear program. The sums the US government was willing to pay Iran for the agreement far exceeded the potential profits from drug smuggling. The President could've had other valid reasons for stopping the investigation."

Former Obama State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf insisted that "any claim that President Obama would ever try to obstruct justice is incomprehensible. His commitment to social justice was far ahead of any of his predecessors. My best guess is that he might have wanted to shut down the DEA investigation because he believed that Hezbollah was driven to crime and terrorism by discriminatory hiring practices in this country. I would be willing to bet that subsequent to his intervention many of the members of Hezbollah were given jobs somewhere within his Administration."

Rep. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla) and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) were not impressed by these efforts to exonerate the former president. "Regardless of whether one considers the agreement with Iran on its nuclear program a good or a bad idea, I don't see how letting a criminal gang of drug smugglers off the hook could have been crucial or necessary," Jordan said. "If Iran was making that a condition for obtaining its agreement I think that would be a pretty big 'red flag' that they couldn't be trusted. If it wasn't a condition we have to ask ourselves what reason could the President have had for butting into what ought to have been a normal law enforcement activity?"

In related news, Rhodes tweeted "I look forward to the day when I can read a Post story on Trump's indictment and then flip to the obits page to see that Ryan, McConnell, and Pence have checked out."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=296118.0

[Conservet]

Why haven’t I heard JACK STUFF about John Jerry in all this?

[Conservet]

*Kerry